If you are shy or inexperienced, how to initiate sex may seem like an intimidating dilemma. However, having a few tips to get over your anxiety about making the first move can help you feel more comfortable and help you get down to business. The most important thing to remember is to relax. Don't forget, sex is fun. Initiating sex should come about naturally while you are together, and not be some sort of move out of a textbook. Setting the mood, of course, can help a lot. Here are a few strategies to try:
- Cultivate a warm and cozy atmosphere. For instance, pop some popcorn, pour a couple of glasses of wine and put on a movie. Good film choices are ones that are light and fun like horror comedies, James Bond type flicks, or comedies that are neither sappy romantic nor super raunchy. You can initiate sex by cuddling under a blanket so you are nice and close, then, moving on to light kissing and making out.
- Offer her a massage. Use a light massage oil with a sexy scent. Start on her back and shoulders, then gradually move toward erogenous zones like her neck, sides and inner thighs. Before you know it, she'll be hot and ready to initiate sex herself.
- Use a teasing, subtle approach. For instance, instead of placing your hand directly on her breast while you are kissing her, place it just below so that you are just barely grazing the bottom swell. Light, suggestive touches can be more arousing than the direct approach. When you start with a seduction, it becomes much easier to initiate sex.
- Most importantly, relax. Do not pressure your partner. If your seduction feels more like a demand, she's not likely to go for it. If you are relaxed, and feel confident that the two of you will get there in plenty of time, initiating sex will be a much more relaxed and pleasurable experience, leading to a better sex life overall.