People who like cars often wonder how to keep cats off their car. Ah, the eternal struggle. A freshly parked car is not only warm to sit upon, but it offers a wonderful vantage point for cats. In fact, cats brawl over who has the right to sit on your car. While it is amusing to watch them play king of the hill, cats can also leave scratches on the car. If you live somewhere near a bunch of bored cats, you should keep the car waxed. This helps more than anything else because cats have an uncanny sense that allows them to sneak onto your car in during moments of weakness. Like when you are asleep.
To keep cats off your car, you might need:
- A device that pressurizes water in order to propel it
- Car alarm
- A beer can and three pennies
- Car cover
- Many "solutions" barely work. Some people go to ridiculously expensive lengths to try and stop cats from sitting on their car. Static mats, ultrasonic pest devices, planting gardens of catnip, scattering pepper and/or predator scented pellets do not really work. They might for awhile, but these are hardly permanent solutions. Cats are smart enough to walk around wolf urine pellets and avoid the static mats. If you plant a garden of catnip, they will thank you in their kitty drug dreams, but they will still sit on your car when they are cold. Besides, are you really going to park your car, set up a static mat, arm your ultrasonic device and sprinkle pepper around your driveway every damn night? If so, the cat is the least of your problems.
- Liquid ambush. This one is probably the most fun. The key here is to find a spot to hide while lurking that allows you to shoot water. An open window and a high powered squirt gun can do the trick. If that is not possible, a hose with a sprayer works wonders. If you arrive home everyday at the same time, the cat already understands your schedule. So the next time you come home, hide and spray. If you can hit the cat without it seeing you, the trick is even more effective as the cat grows leery of the car.
- Noise. A lazy guy trick that will always work is the panic button on your car keys. Wait until the cat hops on the car and let her rip. The only drawback is your neighbors will hate you. If you do not have a key activated alarm system, fret not. The loudest, most annoying sound ever is to put three pennies into an empty beer can and duct tape the top shut. Watch the kitties approach and when they make their move, rattle the can!
- Car cover. While there are few permanent ways to keep cats off your car, the best way to protect any car from cat scratches is a car cover. Get a thick one and realize you will be replacing it often. While this will protect the car, it also makes it more comfortable to sit on.
- Never shoot a cat with a BB gun. This is illegal, cruel and makes you look like a sadistic jerk.
- If the cat belongs to your neighbors, bug them. Bugging a cat is useless because they keep odd hours. Sooner or later, the cat will return.
- For every cat you knock off your car, there are two waiting in the wings to take its place. The best solution is an enclosed garage.
What Others Are Reading Right Now.
Acting, comedy and strong spirits converge in Speakeasy. When host Paul F. Tompkins interviews entertainers—Key and Peele, Alison Brie, Rob Delaney, Zach Galifianakis—about all sor …
10 Things Women Expect Men to Know How To Do
To make ladies swoon or at least not cringe, you’d better be able to handle the following…
Speakeasy: Jonathan Banks
The Emmy-nominated Breaking Bad star talks Beverly Hills Cop, Wiseguy, sitcom work and his new flick with Danny Trejo, Bullet. Oh yeah, a few Mike Ehrma …