How To Know If Someone Is Gay

Many people would like to think it's easy to know if someone is gay as if members of the LGBT community are strange and different from heterosexual people. While there are people who seem to have the uncanny ability to tell whether a person is gay (a trait colloquially known as "gaydar"), there is some truth to the stereotypes of the overly effeminate gay man with impeccable fashion sense or the butch lesbian with short hair and wears flannel. The truth is you can't really know for sure if someone is gay.  

Most gay and bisexual people are no different from straight people. They have normal thoughts, desires, hobbies, jobs and feelings. Their sexual orientation is just a small part of who they are, just like with straight people. Sexuality is (or should be) a private and personal matter, so the only way to know if someone is gay is if that person comes out and says so. The decision to come out of the closet is really up to the individual.

Sadly, we live in a very prejudiced and homophobic society and there will always be people on the lookout for this perceived "homosexual menace" everywhere they go. They won't understand that the only person's sexuality they can fully understand is their own. This article is supposed to be about how to know if someone is gay, but since it's impossible to really know that about a person, we should debunk some myths about perceived sexual orientation and gay stereotypes.

1. Being a little effeminate and liking things like opera doesn't make a man gay. All it means is that a man likes opera and is a little effeminate. He might be gay, but it's also possible that the last time he went to the opera was with a gorgeous woman who would cause all of your straight guy friends to drool. You can't tell for sure.
2. Having a keen fashion sense doesn't mean that a guy is gay. It means he knows how to dress up and style his hair. Maybe his girlfriend likes it that way.
3. Not all straight guys like sports. No, really. There are guys who don't watch football, but are attracted to women. And there are gay men and straight women who like sports, too.
4. That guy who doesn't have a girlfriend and doesn't talk about dating might not be gay. Of course, since gay men don't have girlfriends, the perpetually single man that you know might be hiding something, but not all straight guys are in relationships all the time. By the same token, not all single women are in relationships with men all the time. Being unattached doesn't say a whole lot about a person.
5. Not all strong, masculine women are lesbians. The same goes for women who go to a bar and turn down men who try to pick them up. A lot of guys like to write those women off as lesbians (after all, why else would they turn down a man?), but it's quite possible that they just aren't interested in those particular men who talked to them that night.

In the end, the only surefire way to know if a person is gay is if he or she says so. A person may exhibit some signs that could raise some red flags for people who know what to look for, but the average person can interact with someone and not know for sure that he or she is gay.