How To Leave The Morning After Sex

One of the great mysteries in life is how to leave the morning after sex. One night stands are great and all, but once the alcohol and adrenaline has worn off you find yourself in a very interesting, and sometimes precarious, position. You shouldn't worry too much about how awkward it's going to be, since you'll live from that. However you do want to find a way out that still leaves you looking suave, although that's not always possible. Use these tips to get yourself out of the situation, applying whatever one works best for your personality and your new lady friend.

  1. Go the nice guy route. Wake up, see if you can't figure out what's going on in the kitchen and make some breakfast for her. You might get that nice guy moniker labeled to you, or you might just have her and all of her friends swooning over you. If you can't make breakfast, don't try this one, because being woken up to a kitchen fire is not the way to get back in the girl's pants.
  2. Wake her up when you get up to let her know you're leaving, if she's an awesome chick with some potential. Make sure you leave your number or some other way to get hold of you later. It's not the type of exit that's really going to leave an impression on her, but it's pretty much required if you have work or appointments the day after.
  3. Wake her up with more sex. Why leave it at a one night stand? Make it one night and most of the morning if she's up for it. Even if you don't talk to her ever again, at least you'll both be very satisfied with the experience.
  4. Sneak out. This one pretty much makes you a complete and utter asshole, but sometimes the chicks are downright crazy and you just need to get the hell out of there. You'll ideally want to wake up before her to just get out, but you might have to come up with a fast excuse as to why you need to leave right away. If all else fails, climb out the bathroom window.
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