If you are in a position of wondering how to let go of a relationship, chances are it has recently ended and you are having trouble getting over the loss of the partner and moving on. There are no easy answers, but there are things you can do to help ease yourself back into a regular routine and move past it.
- Get comfortable with yourself. As hard as it is, when you spend a lot of time with one person spending time alone suddenly becomes unbearable. It can be made more difficult if you shared many mutual friends. It is best to sever ties for the time being form the former partner and mutual friends. Spend time with friends or family, if you absolutely require company, but try spending time alone as often as possible.
- Do something good for yourself. Often people will grow physically lazy in relationships and stop working out. With your newfound time, you could invest in a gym membership or home fitness program. The great thing about home fitness programs is many have a timeline. You could start at day one feeling sad, lonely, miserable, and depressed but then after four weeks you have reduced these feelings and grown to love pushing play everyday. The workout can become good company in loneliness, and help you sleep and feel better too.
- If you find your home lonely now, and need something else alive around you, consider a pet. Cats can be great companions, and relatively easy to care for. With electronic automatic litter boxes you can even significantly reduce care and clean up, so you basically just have to provide food, water, fresh litter regularly, and the cat will love spending time with you. It might be best to start with a kitten, however, for bonding purposes and local animal shelters often have an abundance of kittens at very low prices which usually include spay/neuter service. A dog is another option, for a more pro-active pet owner. Dogs require significantly more attention including feeding, walking, training. That being said, dogs are also great companions and can give you a reason to go out every day.
- Find your external focus. Letting go of a relationship involves finding a new focus in your life. Your new focus could include going back to school, advancing at work, maybe saving for a backpacking trip across Europe or a tour of Japan. Use this time to get focused and make a list of what you want to do. Think about what you want from life, and write it down. Then consider ways to accomplish each of the things you have listed. Some require very little effort, others require time and money. It's time to make them happen!
- Find your internal focus. Having it together on the outside never necessarily means you have it all together on the inside. If you have trouble focusing after the end of a relationship, consider a meditation group or even self-improvement literature. A lot can be said for improving focus internally. You will be able to work, think, and perform better at work and other areas of your life too. Meditation is not for everyone, but a trip to your local bookstore's self-improvement shelves might prove to be just what you needed to get focused and moving forward again.
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