There is a special kind of connection with a lover that makes you want to learn how to love without boundaries. You love them deeply, but you still feel like there is something keeping you apart. Boundaries define who we are and where we exist in the world. They give us identity and keep us safe. They are the lines we willingly defy or would never dare to cross. Boundaries have their place in healthy relationships, but when they become too rigid, they become an excuse to live in fear. Here's how to get rid of the boundaries that keep you separate from your lover and experience a love you never thought possible.
- Risk embarrassment. In a new relationship, you don't give yourself room for mistakes. You never let your lover see you when you are angry, tired, stupid, or afraid. To love without boundaries, take a risk and let your lover see what you are truly feeling. Let her see you at your worst.
- Risk honesty. Honesty of feeling is the first step to honesty in the rest of your relationship. What do you want from her? What do you want in the relationship? What do you desire sexually? Tell her your deepest fears and your greatest hopes.
- Risk yourself. There are things about yourself that define who you are. Without them, you aren't sure of your identity. Maybe it's work that defines you, or status, or your outgoing nature. Step outside of the identity you're so sure of. Let your lover lead you somewhere unexpected. Take a week off of work to do nothing. Sell your belongings. Keep silent. Do something quietly revolutionary, and do it with her.
- Risk your relationship. Loving without boundaries means taking steps in your relationship you never thought could be possible or desirable. When you've been living in honest openness and risk with your partner for a while, you will begin to question the boundaries of the relationship and the world at large.
Before you act on any of these profound challenges, cement your faith in each other. Go forth into lawlessness knowing you are in this together. Keep ruthlessly honest. Keep taking risks and opening further as you voice your deepest desires. This place of honesty, trust, and perfect possibility is where desire can be granted. Hold on to each other, and never turn back.
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