If you are on a health kick, cheap or sickly looking, it’s time to learn how to make vitamins. Vitamins are a great way to supplement your diet, especially if you eat like a twelve year old kid at the Kwik-E-Mart. These ideas are common knowledge and the kind of advice you would get from the health food store guru. They are safe to try, but make sure you do not have any health issues. For example, if you are an albino, you may wish to skip the vitamin D section. It is also important to realize that vitamins are not miracle cures or the solution for a beer and hot dog lifestyle.
To make these vitamins, you will need:
- A sunny day
- Organic oranges or other citrus fruits
- Fresh yeast
- Vitamin D is good for your bones. This is the easy one. Your body already knows how to make vitamin D. Make sure you are not wearing any sunscreen and go outside. Not only is this free, it’s totally organic man. If you do this at least twice a week from anywhere between five minutes to half an hour, you will be set. The time length depends upon your skin tone. If you are darker, you should tan longer.
- The best times to sun bathe are between 10am and 3pm when the sun is directly overhead. What you wear or do not wear is up to you and the neighbors but you should at least expose your face, arms and legs.
- Vitamin C helps your immune system and speeds up healing. To make this vitamin, peel an orange, eat it and save the rinds. That, my friend, is pure vitamin C. Unlike that synthetic junk they sell in stores, those peels are full of love and antioxidants like rutin. You can actually use any citrus fruits like lemons, tangerines or grapefruit.
Take those peels and slice them into thin strips. Put the strips on a paper towel and let them completely dry out. When they are shriveled up, put them in a coffee grinder and turn them to powder.
- Store this in an airtight jar and take one teaspoon a day. If you get a sour stomach easily, chug a glass of water with it because it can be pretty acidic. Also, make sure you use organic oranges because you don’t want to eat anything weird like methyl iodide. If you want to scare yourself, look that one up.
Vitamin B12 is important for your nervous system and the formation of red blood cells. Some people find the odor from this process offensive, so tiny apartment dwellers beware. You need fresh yeast. Not the dried granules sold in packets but the compressed cakes they sell at health food stores in the refrigerated aisle. If you have a local bakery nearby, you might be able to buy it for less than two bucks a pound.
Obtain one pound of yeast, this will last you almost a month. Boil one cup of distilled water on very low heat. Add a quarter of the yeast at a time. Stir this muck consistently until you blend in the whole pound. Let it puff up which means it is boiling and done. Take it off the heat. When it is cool, pour into a glass container and store it in the refrigerator.
- Take one to two teaspoons a day. To be honest, this tastes pretty bad. Most folks mix this with something sweet and shoot it like a kamikaze.
Tips: Vitamins are used to supplement nutrients we lack. The best way to get nutrients is through food. A healthy, well rounded, non-nacho cheese diet is the best way to go. Seeing a nutritionist can help you pinpoint your body’s nutritional deficiencies.
Stampfer, Meir J. "Vitamins and Minerals: What You Need To Know." Harvard Medical School, 2008.
What Others Are Reading Right Now.
Acting, comedy and strong spirits converge in Speakeasy. When host Paul F. Tompkins interviews entertainers—Key and Peele, Alison Brie, Rob Delaney, Zach Galifianakis—about all sor …
10 Red Flags That Kill Your Chances With Women
Wondering why that first date didn’t lead to a second? Read on.
13 Pro Wrestling Tales Too Crazy to be True—But They Are!
Because the gnarliest stuff happens when the cameras are off.