How To Make Vodka Luges

It’s been said that God looks out for fools and drunkards. So keep this in mind when considering how to make vodka luges, along with the realization that you’ll need:

• A sense of limitations.
• An understanding of necessities.
• Knowledge of the intended effect.

1. I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Its best to not sample the components of a vodka luge while preparing it, in that one of the ingredients is an intoxicant that will most probably impair judgment, and the other might very well numb your tongue and cause you to “Tawk like dis!” So keep these facts in mind going in. 
2. Frank Lloyd Wrong. A vodka lugeis in essence a delivery system constructed to cause this particular libation to flow through ice and into a drinker’s mouth by means of frozen H2O sculptures as ornate as da Vinci’s “David” or as simple as a beer bong. So in less you possess skills with a chain saw and sculpting tools you should probably consider the latter to avoid loss of life, limb and uproarious laughter at your own expense.          
3. You might have what you need already in the house. Vodka, ice and something to put them in (along with a spout of sorts somewhere in the container) is all you really need to make a vodka luge. But be advised that if Grey Goose or other expensive brands are all that you have on hand you should probably take the time to go out and purchase instead a label such as “Ed’s Store-Bought Vodka” in order to economize (since your party guests will be downing the spirits too fast to taste them anyway).
4. More specifically…Unless you’re trying to impress someone, just lay your hands on a 6” funnel, attach a ¼” - ½” piece of plastic tubing to its narrow end, throw in ice then pour vodka into it in proportions appropriate to the needs of those who choose to imbibe as they allow the alcoholic beverage to slide down their esophagus. (But be advised that it would be best to confiscate car keys from all willing participants before beginning the aforementioned process, while keeping in mind also that “No means no!”)
5. What is a good time? Know that the majority of social drinkers just want to sip and enjoy alcohol as opposed to chugging booze like a sailor on weekend leave; while others may want to drink until they lose consciousness. So it’s best to keep in mind the nature of the party you plan before mounting the construction of a vodka luge.

And if all this seems like too much trouble, you might instead consider the innovative notion of merely using glasses and straws.