Like everything, learning how to make your relationship last takes practice and commitment by both parties. It would be easy to think that if it was "meant to be" then it would be easy to make your relationship last. That's not the reality – it never has been. It never will be.
The keys to making a relationship last are the following:
- Be clear why you really want it to. Sometimes it is easy for us to fall in love with love and not the actual person we are currently having a relationship with. Check yourself. Be sure that the person you want to make the relationship last with is really a compatible person for you.
- Know your partner's good qualities. When making a relationship last it is always important to know your partner fully. Your partner may not be good at cleaning but he/she is good at cooking. So if you are a very neat person and like everything in order, then clean. Let them cook. Know your partner's strong points and use it to benefit your relationship.
- Don't make your partner your life. When we depend on others to provide all of our happiness, it not only leads to an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship; it also causes unnecessary friction within a relationship. Somebody is bound to pull away if expectations and pressure is too high. Take time out for yourself and encourage your partner to do the same.
- Communicate. Open communication is a big deal, people. Make it safe for your partner to express himself or herself without judgment or criticism. Often we are so busy being on the defensive that we miss the other's point. Often the point being made is valid and if we listen, it could open our mind to something new.
- Detach with love. Being a human being we want to comfort our partner during difficult times in their lives. It is awesome to show compassion and empathy for your partners struggle. However, if you want to make your relationship work, it is vital not to carry your partner’s burden. If you do this you will find yourself very tired and very stressed out. Be there for your partner, but don’t carry their burden.
- Make time for fun. In today’s society, it is so easy to work and waste our time numbing out with TV, or the like. Making a relationship last takes effort on both your parts. Take the initiative to plan a fun date night, make a romantic play-date for just you and your partner. You don’t need lots of money for this, just a great imagination.
- Surprise them. One of the ways we can keep the spice in our relationship is to surprise your partner. Seriously, don’t underestimate a bunch of flowers or a ticket to a game… these gestures are talked about a lot because they work. It is important not to feel like our relationship is the “same ole’, same ole’.” In the fun department, keep your partner guessing.
The bottom line: making a relationship last takes effort. When you make an effort, the relationship will not only last, but it will be fulfilling, rewarding. It will grow and so will you.