Trying to learn how to not ejaculate is not easy for any guy. Having some of the will power it takes to hold back so your girlfriend can enjoy herself and maybe the two of you orgasm together makes it worth it.
Some things you'll need to not ejaculate:
- Ability to focus
- Girlfriend or wife who is patient
- Something to focus away from being aroused
- Nature of guys. You are not built with the ability to focus on something other than sex especially in the middle of the act. But if it means showing your girl how much you love her and letting her be happy, it it worth it. So work on your ability to focus on how to not ejaculate.
- A patient girl. Hopefully, you have a patient lover. You may be in trouble if you don't, because not ejaculating in the beginning of trying to be more giving is not going to be easy and she is going to have to work with you and understand when you have to stop what you are both doing to not ejaculate. She is going to have to help you know your body well enough to have you hold back, or, again, you will not be able to hold back.
- Get your mind on something else. And this will also be extremely difficult. Try to distract your body to keep from ejaculating. This will not physically hurt you at all. It will just be very frustrating. Think about unpleasant thoughts having nothing to do with being intimate. Think about loud music, or play some semi-loud music, take a cold shower for a minute or two. When you are not in that sexual state of mind, jot down ideas on how to get your mind re-focused away from being aroused.
Not ejaculating is very, very difficult. And the likelihood is you are going to mess up more than a few times before being able to hold back and not ejaculate. Some men have done it. It depends on the individual sex drive, how much control you have over it, and how much you really want to try and get control over it. Even then, that one part of your body sure has a mind all it's own.