How To Pack A Golf Cart Cooler

If you’re hitting the links for the first time, you may be wondering how to pack a golf cart cooler.  Well, amateur golfers, we’re here to fill you in on the essentials.

1. Pack lots of beer.  This is the essential step to packing a golf cart cooler.  If you haven’t packed any beer, you might as well just stay home because everyone is just going to resent you anyway.  You see, golf is boring.  Even people who play golf know this.  That’s why they pack beer.  Beer makes things seem much more interesting than they actually are.  Spend less time worrying about whether to use your pitching wedge or loft wedge and more time worrying about whether to toss back a pale ale or a stout.
2. You’ll probably need some water, too.  You’re going to be out in the sun, and if you’re doing a full 18 holes then you’re going to be out in the sun for quite a while.  If you drink beer and beer alone, then you’re probably going to die of dehydration somewhere around the 14^th hole.  Make sure to pack plenty of water in your golf cart cooler so you don’t end up with a combination of heat stroke and hangover.
3. Bring some munchies.  If you’re anything like us, drinking beer makes you a little bit peckish.  Pack yourself and your buddies a few sandwiches, maybe some chips, a cookie or two, some beef jerky… well, you get the picture.  Keep that regimen up every time you golf and you’ll be looking like a pro in no time (as long as that pro is John Daly).
4. Throw in an ice pack, just in case.  “In case what?” you might ask.  The answer:  in case you get hit in the nuts by a golf ball.  Those things travel at a pretty high speed, and if you’re hit by one then it’s going to hurt pretty bad.  It’s a good idea to put an ice pack in your golf cart cooler in case you need it to reduce swelling in your groin area after a run-in with one of those tiny terrors.
5. When you run out of beer, buy some more.  If you’re not out of beer by the ninth hole then you’re not a man.  Stop in the clubhouse at the turn or flag down the beer cart and restock that golf cart cooler of yours with more precious brew.  It may not help you play any better, but it will help you not care that you suck so badly.  Remember:  it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how convincingly you are able to blame your sloppy performance on being tanked.