How To Reinvent Your Wardrobe

So you’re getting tired of your boring, humdrum clothes and you want to know how to reinvent your wardrobe. Well, we are here to help. If you follow the steps below, you will have a new wardrobe totally unlike the one you had before. We guarantee it.

  1. Throw out your existing wardrobe. If you want to reinvent your wardrobe, you need to get rid of the one you have. After all, you can’t polish a turd. Don’t put those clothes in the trash, though. That’s wasteful. Donate them instead and earn some extra karma points.
  2. Stay away from the mall. You’re not going to find anything there that you haven’t seen before. If you want to reinvent your wardrobe, you’re going to have to be a little more creative in choosing where you buy (or salvage) your clothes. Give a hobo five bucks for that awesome flannel jacket he’s wearing. Don’t worry; he’s wearing at least three more underneath them. All those stains on the jacket? They’re what make it unique. Hobo jackets are like snowflakes; no two of them are the same.
  3. Watch a Lady Gaga video or two. That lady knows how to dress uniquely. You could learn a thing or two from her about reinventing your wardrobe. We’re not telling you to wear the same things she does. Then you’d be nothing but a cross-dressing copycat. Instead, take a good look at her and ask yourself, “What can I do to look that bizarre?” You’ll be on the right track in no time.
  4. Buy yourself a smoking jacket. Don’t smoke? Doesn’t matter. It’s a disgusting habit anyway. Buy yourself a corncob pipe, fuzzy slippers and a smoking jacket and walk around town in your new attire. People will be all, “Who is that smooth S.O.B.?” That smooth S.O.B. is you, son.
  5. Be original. Whether or not you look to Lady Gaga or Hugh Hefner for inspiration, you need to make your wardrobe your own. Mix and match your clothes and create unique combinations. Dare to wear something that no one else in his right mind would wear. That is the key to reinventing your wardrobe and making everyone else take notice.
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