How To Rekindle Romance

By: Sandi Harrison

Break Studios Contributing Writer

In this busy world, couples often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and may need to relearn how to rekindle romance in their lives. Events in our lives, such as marriage, careers, having babies and getting older, change us. There are so many things occupying our time and our minds that we forget about our partners and the romantic relationship we used to share. We simply neglect our relationships and take them for granted. Here are some steps to help rekindle the romance in our lives.

  1. Set up a date night for one night a week. How long has it been since you and your spouse had time to yourselves to enjoy each other’s company? Set up a date night each week for a candlelight dinner and a movie or another activity you both enjoy. Don’t cancel it. Get a sitter for the night if you have kids and go out and have a good time. You might even want to spend the night at a hotel if you can afford it. Work on rekindling romance by developing intimacy in your relationship. Share things you seldom have the time to share. Leave your problems behind.
  2. Take a vacation without the children. Take off for a weekend vacation alone a couple times a year. Leave the kids with relatives or a sitter. Spend your time with each other just like you were on your honeymoon. Concentrate on each other. Do things you used to enjoy doing together. Most of all, don’t forget to work on rekindling the romance in your life.
  3. Set bedtime for the kids for 9 p.m. so you and your spouse can have some time alone. This will allow the adults to have some intimate time together to talk, kiss, make love or just hold each other while watching a movie. As this kids get older, this will be more difficult. You may have to plan sleepovers for the kids or a babysitter so you can have some alone time. You need this to help rekindle your romantic life.
  4. Spend at least fifteen minutes a day discussing your feelings and talking about each other. Don't talk about the children, finances, work or domestic affairs. Talk to and about each other only during this time.
  5. Rekindle the physical side of your relationship. A hug or a kiss in the morning and one when you get home from work can do a lot to rekindle a relationship. Physical touch can help reduce anxiety and stress, while putting a smile on your face. Everything may seem brighter with a good hug from your spouse.
  6. Take responsibility for your feelings and needs. Don’t depend on your partner to make you happy. Use your own thoughts and actions to do that. Treat yourself with care, compassion and kindness, instead of judging yourself. Another person cannot make you happy; it comes from within. Treat your spouse the same way you would want to be treated. When couples treat each other with respect, it helps with the communication and friendship between them.
  7. Listen to what your spouse has to say and learn. When trying just to win an argument by any means, the problem that caused the argument is often not dealt with. Listen to your spouse and try to learn more about her and how she feels and thinks instead of trying to win the argument. 
  8. Show your spouse you appreciate her. Complaining creates negativity and the relationship cannot flourish. Be grateful for the things you have and don’t focus on what you don’t have. Gratitude creates better emotional and physical health and gives us inner peace.
  9. Lighten up and don’t take things so seriously. Put some laughter in your life and you will find things getting better. Being light and playful can do wonders for a relationship and rekindling romance.
Posted on: Nov. 22, 2010