If you’re ready to learn how to resolve relationship commitment issues, you were probably blind-sided by having your gal pal drop the big four letter “L” word. Then again, maybe she has made it clear that she is ready to make this relationship exclusive and you are just not sure if this is the direction into which you are ready to head. On the other hand, there is the off-chance that you want to (perhaps for the second time) broach the topic of exclusivity but are not sure how to resolve relationship commitment issues on her side. While not foolproof, there are some steps to take for making the course of action clear.
- Gauge the health of the relationship. Learning how to resolve relationship commitment issues sometimes requires little more than an honest evaluation of what keeps you together. If current loneliness, the fear of being alone in the future, a loudly ticking biological clock or outside pressures are keeping the two of you humming along as a couple, fears of commitment are well-founded.
- Evaluate personal marriage readiness. Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with this person? Are you curious about who else might be out there? If it is the latter, then commitment to this relationship is really not a goal you want to pursue right now.
- Define your partner’s understanding of commitment. If she wants to have a commitment from you, is she talking about going steady or an engagement ring? In some cases, it might mean little more than keeping other relationship or flings out of your joint circle of friends and away from under her nose.
- Assess roadblocks. If it is you who wants to make a commitment to the relationship but the lady in question is hesitant, consider what might be holding her back. When finding out how to resolve relationship commitment issues there comes a time for taking a sober–and perhaps not very flattering–look at yourself and what you are bringing to the table. Are you willing to change for a future together?
- Communicate openly and unambiguously about your decision. If you truly want to know how to resolve relationship commitment issues, open and honest talks are unavoidable. You may hurt some feelings or get your own feelings hurt; in the process, you will recognize if the relationship–such as it currently exists–is really what both of you want.
If you both choose to table the discussion at this time, set a deadline for a verbal rematch. After a reasonable amount of time you both should evaluate if this match is in fact what you want or if it is time to move on. In the latter case, learning how to resolve relationship commitment issues may just have to be a friendly good-bye.