How to Seduce a Bartender
Every person over the age of 21 needs to know how to seduce a bartender, just to cross that conquest of your list. You know what we’re talking about! Most of us with an active social life and an appreciation for beverages of the spirituous nature have at one time or another pondered just how to seduce a bartender. You know it’s true. Whether it's because of a few too many martinis one evening or the fact that it’s pretty much an occupational prerequisite bartenders to be amazingly hot, you have probably wanted to bed down a bartender at some point in your drinking career.
While picking up women at last call may come as little challenge to even the most intoxicated of late night Casanovas, to seduce a bartender is different and traditional mating tactics are damn near null and void when it comes to that hottie that has been at your beck and call all night. At risk of being shunned by fellow bartenders everywhere, allow us to share with you the five steps you will need to follow to seduce a bartender.
- Accept that you will have your work cut out for you - Bartenders are a unique species and the chances of you scoring on the first try are virtually slim to none. There are several reasons (as you will soon read). The main one being is that you'll ALWAYS have competition. The bartender is the bar's rockstar. Everyone wants her attention (and gets it), everyone knows her name, and everyone feels they’ve built a “relationship” with her over the course of a fun-filled evening. She is intoxicating, no pun intended, to everyone and has a wide variety of companions to choose from come last call.
- It's not going to happen the first night – The next thing you’ll want to accept is that there is little chance of you scoring with your bartender the first night you meet her. By the time she’s ready to clock out for night (or morning) she has already had a good amount of random drunks try to get her number. Unless she is seriously lacking in moral standards, your odds of her bedding you, or the other 20 guys who tried, are unlikely. Let’s also consider that she has probably had far less to drink than you. Be prepared to pay a few more visits to this bar and let her get to know you.
- Tipping – I would hope that we don’t have to mention this, but let’s clarify just in case. No one is interested in a cheap dude. You will never be able to seduce a bartender by leaving crappy one dollar tips, or worse, no tips at all. You can’t buy a bartender either. Over-tipping suggests that you think they can be bought and won’t get you much more than directions to a nearby brothel. A moderately generous tipping policy will suffice nicely.
- Creative flirting – How do we practice creative flirting? To seduce a bartender you must be very creative and thoughtful about your approach to flirting. Remember, they've heard it all…every night. Be original!
- Controlled drinking – Even though it is the bartenders duty to serve those refreshing beers, shots and cocktails, no one is interested in a sloppy 2 a.m. drunk. Watch your alcohol intake and be respectful on each and every visit to her establishment.
Those are the five basic steps you’ll want to practice while trying to seduce a bartender. Keep them in mind and you could soon be on your way to a happy ending at happy hour.