We're sorry to say it but there are a few desperate, lonely guys out there that have such weak and pathetic pick-up lines that their only hope in hell of hooking up is to learn how to seduce women though hypnosis. It's ok to laugh; we all know someone who is in that boat. Of course you may not be chuckling if that someone is you! But fear not little losers! We have found a couple of ways for you to make a last ditch final attempt at scoring a chick by showing you how to seduce a woman through hypnosis. Sound pathetic? Desperate? Sneaky? It is! But it is equally as effective, and a hell of a lot more morally acceptable than getting her drunk!
Now of course you are not going to persuade this unsuspecting victim of your awkwardness and lack of sex appeal to volunteer for this procedure. It's not like the old variety shows when folks willingly follow the pendulum while some creepy guy (in this instance … you) chants, "You are getting sleepy…sleeeeppppyyy … " If you want to seduce a woman through hypnosis, you have to be sneaky. So, if you are really desperate enough to resort to such an underhanded strategy, put down the roofies Erkle! Here's what you can do.
There are a two main types of hypnosis you can use to seduce a woman:
- Conversational Hypnosis. Assuming you have little conversational skills since it has come to this, believe it not, conventional hypnosis actually works to your advantage. When a stuttering, stammering fool is trying to seduce a woman through hypnosis, this is the way to go. The key objective here is to bore and confuse her to death until she is in a semi trance trying to drown you out. Sounds familiar? Right when she gets that glazed over look in here eye and is seemingly looking right through you, that's when you strike! Start gently mumbling your seedy suggestions and planting thoughts in here head. Doesn't seem like she's listening? She's not. But her subconscious state of mind is picking up on you, and maybe you'll be picking up on her when she snaps out it. Doubtful, but again, it's better than roofies.
- Covert Hypnosis. This technique is better suited for the more resilient geek who has little fear of rejection. If you use this method to seduce women, you're going to appeal to her on a slightly more conscious level, so be prepared to use your brain. You will want to do a lot of talking and actually keep her interested. Perhaps this is a good method for the attractively challenged conversationalist. You tell a fabulous story that moves and captivates her with a very happy ending. But what she doesn't know is that you have masterminded a typical scenario that you would like to be in … with her. Once she is fully enthralled by your tale, you ask her (don't tell here) in a tone that asks a question yet makes a statement (confusion, remember?) if that would be nice for the two of you (ie: "It would be wonderful if we had crazy animal sex on my mom's basement floor, wouldn't it?"). She may strip of her clothes and jump your bones, or she may slap the shit out of you. The fact is, she thought about having animal sex with you on your mom's basement floor. And that wouldn't have ever happened otherwise.
So fellas, no matter how many methods you've tried and failed, you can always try to seduce women through hypnosis. If you're lucky, they'll never know.
What Others Are Reading Right Now.
Acting, comedy and strong spirits converge in Speakeasy. When host Paul F. Tompkins interviews entertainers—Key and Peele, Alison Brie, Rob Delaney, Zach Galifianakis—about all sor …
10 Things Women Expect Men to Know How To Do
To make ladies swoon or at least not cringe, you’d better be able to handle the following…
We all love fine food—and the people who make it! Eats introduces you to those folks, taking you into the kitchens of all kinds of culinary luminaries. From BBQ to vegan, eco-frien …