How To Shave Your Balls Safely

“How do you shave your balls safely? Dude, I am having some trouble. My balls look like they have tally marks because I do not know how to shave them properly. I need your help!” Do you sound like this? Do you want to know how to shave your balls safely? Shaving your balls is not really that difficult of a task. Here is how you shave your balls safely.

1. Never dry shave your balls! Never, ever do this and we do mean never. Men with curly hair and black men have it the worst. Why? There is a thing called razor bumps! Oh, no, not those! Yes, those little beautiful bumps! If you do not want your balls to look like a Nestle Crunch or White Crunch bar, do not shave your balls while they are dry. You want your balls to be as smooth as eggs and you need to water your trees. Your balls have to be wet if you want to shave your balls safely. There is no other way of doing this without looking like Freddy Krueger. Remember: make sure your balls are wet before you shave them!
2. Do not use cheap razors. The United States is still in a recession, but that does not mean you have to go to a flea market and buy a single bladed razor. There are four and five bladed razors available by reputable companies that are sold in gas stations, supermarkets, and convenient stores. There is no reason in the world to purchase a cheap razor unless you like to torture yourself. Get a real razor!
3. Shaving cream or shaving gel, which one do you use? Shaving cream has to be wet just like your balls when your shave them or you will have consequences. You do not have to worry about this if you use shaving gel. This is your choice, but if you want to shave your balls safely you have to make the right decisions.
4. Get your girlfriend to shave your balls safely or do it yourself. If you have a girlfriend, ask her to shave your balls safely. If you do not have a girlfriend, you are out of luck (no!). On a serious note, it would be better if someone else shaved them just to be on the safe side. If you are comfortable shaving them yourself, make sure you do not shave your balls like you are hyper. Slow like molasses, not fast as a speeding bullet. Smooth strokes with the razor.