How to Shotgun a Beer
Knowing how to shotgun a beer could come in handy the next time you find yourself hanging out with a rogue gang of party animals without a beer bong in sight. Once you know how to shotgun a beer, you can be comfortable in knowing that complete drunkenness is only moments away. And you don't even need any special equipment to be able to shotgun a beer. Once you know how to shotgun a beer, there's no need to lug the cumbersome beer bong along for the ride, leaving plenty of room for more beer. Here's how to shotgun a beer.
To shotgun a beer, you'll need:
- A 12-ounce, unopened aluminum can of your favorite beer. (Or whatever beer is handy. It's not like you're going to taste it).
- An aluminum penetrating device. (A car key works wonders).
How To Shotgun A Beer
- Tilt the can upside down at a 45-degree angle. This will leave a small air-pocket in the bottom (now the top) of the can at its highest point.
- Jab the can with an aluminum penetrating device to create a hole roughly one-half to three-quarter inches across. Be careful to ensure that there are no sharp edges protruding outwards.
- Position your mouth over the hole while still holding the can at its downward tilt.
- Once a successful lip-lock is in place, tilt your head up with the can now resting above you and in its traditional upright position.
- Open the can as you would normally.
- Swallow. Fast. The beer will gush down your throat at a rate roughly equivalent of a jet-powered waterfall. (Trust us. It's fast)
- Crush the empty can with a barbaric yelp.
- Wipe the dribble from your chin.
Note: Knowing how to shotgun a beer doesn't make you any more alcohol tolerant. In fact shotgunning a beer will set you on a fast track to a date with the porcelain god if attempted too often. Fire away responsibly.