How to Shotgun a Beer

Knowing how to shotgun a beer could come in handy the next time you find yourself hanging out with a rogue gang of party animals without a beer bong in sight. Once you know how to shotgun a beer, you can be comfortable in knowing that complete drunkenness is only moments away. And you don't even need any special equipment to be able to shotgun a beer. Once you know how to shotgun a beer, there's no need to lug the cumbersome beer bong along for the ride, leaving plenty of room for more beer. Here's how to shotgun a beer.

To shotgun a beer, you'll need:

  • A 12-ounce, unopened aluminum can of your favorite beer. (Or whatever beer is handy. It's not like you're going to taste it).
  • An aluminum penetrating device. (A car key works wonders).

 How To Shotgun A Beer

  1. Tilt the can upside down at a 45-degree angle. This will leave a small air-pocket in the bottom (now the top) of the can at its highest point.
  2. Jab the can with an aluminum penetrating device to create a hole roughly one-half to three-quarter inches across. Be careful to ensure that there are no sharp edges protruding outwards.
  3. Position your mouth over the hole while still holding the can at its downward tilt.
  4. Once a successful lip-lock is in place, tilt your head up with the can now resting above you and in its traditional upright position.
  5. Open the can as you would normally.
  6. Swallow. Fast. The beer will gush down your throat at a rate roughly equivalent of a jet-powered waterfall. (Trust us. It's fast)
  7. Crush the empty can with a barbaric yelp.
  8. Wipe the dribble from your chin.

Note: Knowing how to shotgun a beer doesn't make you any more alcohol tolerant. In fact shotgunning a beer will set you on a fast track to a date with the porcelain god if attempted too often. Fire away responsibly.

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