How To Sit In A Kilt

It is important that any person who ever wears one knows how to sit in a kilt. Traditionally, undergarments are not worn under a kilt which presents several problems to the wearer. Seldom is the surface of a seat warm, public seats are not very sanitary, and most everyone with a cell phone has a camera at their finger tips and an Internet connection. A moment later your peep show photo is getting a million hits on the Internet. The real question is how to do sit in a kilt and protect your man mystery at the same time?

  1. Sit on the kilt not the surface of the chair. Use your hands to smooth down the back of your kilt and tuck the fabric under as you to sit. Public chairs or benches and bare skin are not a healthy or comfortable combination. Protect yourself from germs and dirt by putting the fabric of the kilt between you and your seat.

  2. Put your hands in your lap and push the kilt apron down between your thighs for better coverage. If you sit in a traditional position, with man thighs spread wide, you will need as much of the kilt as possible to drape over your lap.

  3. Cross one ankle in front of the other and pull your feet in towards the chair. This will angle your knees down and help you hold your legs together.

Tips:

  • Insert a kilt pin on the apron flat near the right edge and two inches from the hem to add weight and keep the breeze from exposing your most intimate secrets.
  • Wear dark coloured underwear. That’s right, break with tradition and wear underwear so you can enjoy the event instead of focusing on modesty.

Warnings:

  • Bending over to pick up your dropped keys will give innocent bystanders an intimate view of you they didn’t expect. Bend from the knees to pick up the keys. Women have been doing it for two thousand years.
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