How To Squeeze Your Girlfriend

Like monkeys comforting each other through grooming, it is vital that you know how to squeeze your girlfriend. Physical contact is an important step to promoting a healthy relationship. People who can lie in each others arms at the end of a tough day without speaking have created a confidence and stability in their emotional relationship. While their mouths are mute, their bodies are unwinding and happily accepting the comfort of each other’s company. So rather than worrying about how to squeeze, you must learn why hugging is so important. Learning to squeeze your girlfriend is easy; building a hug that lasts for years is the tough part.

To squeeze your girlfriend, you will need:

  • Confidence
  • Two arms or one really long tentacle
  1. What not to do. In order to squeeze your girlfriend you must ignore everything you know about hugging if you learned it from watching gangster rap videos. The two males approaching each other and the manly handshake that leads into a brisk hug with a back pat is not for your girlfriend. If you do that, you will only make things more awkward because it will be taken as a weird form of social rejection.
  2. Confidence. This is your girlfriend right? There is already a level of intimacy involved so approach your woman with confidence. Eye contact and an easy smile are needed as you walk up to greet her. As you near the target, open your arms slightly to demonstrate you are coming in for a hug. Do not spread them wide out like you are trying to scare away a bear, just open your arms and palms a bit. This is the universal symbol for hugging and is recognized by girlfriends everywhere.
  3. Squeezing and caressing. Do not actually squeeze your girlfriend like a python unless you do this for laughs and she doesn’t find it painful or antisocial. A girlfriend hug is deep and lasts longer than a friend hug, but mind her ribs. Back pats are for comforting gassy babies and greeting heterosexual male friends. It does not convey much intimacy because that makes males feel awkward and less macho. So skip the pats and go for a caress. Depending how close you two are in your relationship, feel free to allow your hands to stray just a bit. A quick ass or hip caress in public is one way males stake their territory but it also feels more intimate.
  4. Variations. After you have mastered the basics techniques on how to squeeze your girlfriend, it is time to learn cuddling and lounging. These are basically hugs while sitting or laying down. These side squeezes must be figured out together due to the differences in height and body size but when the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly, you will understand why monkeys are always hugging each other.
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