How To Steal Your Friend’s Girlfriend

So, you're wondering how to steal your friend's girlfriend? One of life's more unpleasant truths is that sometimes a friend winds up with the girl of your dreams. But people leave people for other people every day; just because she's your friend's girl doesn't mean you don't have a chance. With these tips and a little finesse, you, too, can steal your friend's girlfriend.

  1. Wait for an opening. No matter how deeply in love your friend and his girlfriend are, eventually they'll fight, and that will create a weakness in the relationship that gives you an opening to steal your friend's girlfriend. In the meantime, be a friend to your friend's girlfriend. Espouse her views and express interest in her tastes. Be charming and polite, but don't let on that you're attracted to her.
  2. Take her side. When your friend and his girlfriend bicker, back up the girlfriend's point of view, even if the argument is petty. When your friend and his girlfriend have a serious fight, be there for her. Comfort her and reassure her that she's beautiful, witty, intelligent and all the other things a woman should be. Reluctantly agree that your friend is an ass.
  3. Present yourself as a better match. By now, your friend's girlfriend should be thinking of you as a nice guy. If you've played your cards right, it may even have occurred to her, once or twice, that you're nicer to her than your friend is. Express discomfort with the way your friend treats his girlfriend (and women in general, if you feel philosophical). Bashfully confess your hidden feelings and wax poetic about the romance you'd shower on your friend's girlfriend, if she were yours.

If you want to steal your friend's girlfriend, following these steps can help. Just be careful that your friend doesn't try to steal her back!