How To Stop Emotional Abuse In Your Relationship

By: Cynthia Neatherlin

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Knowing how to stop emotional abuse in your relationship is not enough. If you are holding on to painful traumas, you may feel that you are not worthy of love. You may allow yourself to be physically or emotionally abused in your relationship and feel that you deserve this treatment. Emotional vampires can literally suck the life out of you. Here are some basic ideas on how to stop emotional abuse in your relationship.

  1. Trust yourself. Both genders have the proclivity to be emotional abusers. If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, whether it is from your spouse, significant other or a family member-trust your instincts. Remember them? Emotional abuse is sinister; it develops slowly and can often be very subtle. Does your abuser’s tone of voice come across in a demeaning, undermining way? Do they want you strictly to themselves? Do you find yourself becoming estranged from family or friends? If you are not the outgoing person you used to be, trust your gut; it may be trying to tell you something. Love should never be hurtful.
  2. Examine and recognize it for what it is. Emotional abusers are very good at recognizing people who are easily manipulated. Moreover, without a strong desire to change, along with heavily concentrated counseling, they very rarely change. Put aside misplaced feelings of love, especially if there are children involved. If your partner is not willing to get professional help to stop the emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to put an end to it before it progresses into physical abuse.
  3. Identify the abuser. Recognizing emotional abuse may be difficult, especially if you have experienced this type of treatment from past abusive relationships; you may have even come to expect it. However, identifying who is really to blame is a vital way to stop emotional abuse in your relationship. Place blame where it belongs. If you are to heal, you must understand that what is happening to you is not your fault. Place the blame squarely on the abuser’s shoulders. This is a key component in putting a stop to emotional abuse in your relationship.
  4. Know thyself. Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself what it is that you need. This will go a long way in learning how to stop emotional abuse in your relationship.  Don’t play into the imaginary sins you’ve been accused of. You deserve respect and love. By knowing this, you will be less likely to repeat the pattern by taking the emotional abuse again. 
  5. Write it down. Undoubtedly, emotional abuse in past relationships may have convinced you that you are unworthy of a healthy relationship. Though it may feel unnatural, counteract all the negative ingrained messages by writing down all the insults they have said and done-then write down the truth! If you want to stop the emotional abuse in your relationship, you must change how you think about yourself. Stand up to the ill-treatment and stop emotional abuse in your relationship. You deserve a loving connection.
  6. Get out of the “good” role. No matter how accommodating or nice you are, it won’t change their mistreatment; nor will it stop emotional abuse in your relationship. Continually trying to reduce your abuser’s stress by becoming the perfect person will only serve to reinforce their destructive tendencies. In fact, they may even become more aggressive when you try to smooth over life’s little mishaps. 
  7. Protect yourself. The only true way you can ever stop emotional abuse in your relationship is to either find ways to protect your own emotions, or stop all contact with them. Seek allies or professional help. An outside, non-biased party can suggest options and turn you on to other helpful resources in case you cannot reduce or stop emotional abuse in your relationship. 
Posted on: Jan. 06, 2011