How To Talk About Sex Openly With Your Girlfriend

By: Ryne Barber

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Talking about sex openly with your girlfriend can be a difficult and embarrassing situation. Sex is often viewed as deeply personal, and there can be a variety of reasons why people are hesitant to discuss it. However, it is healthy and natural to want to talk about sex with a person that you care for and love. If you are having trouble bringing up sex with your girlfriend, you might want to try these helpful tips.

  1. Pick the right time and place. It is important that your girlfriend feels secure in talking to you about a touchy subject. It is not best to bring up the subject of sex during the heat of the moment, but ahead of time. Find a private area where you can talk about sex with your girlfriend without strangers overhearing so that both of you can share your honest feelings.
  2. Think about what you want to say beforehand. Talking about sex with your girlfriend can lead to frustration if you have not previously thought of what you want to say and how to say it. Be sure to word your argument well without placing blame or peer pressure on your girlfriend. You don't want to force your girlfriend into something when she might not be ready.
  3. Get advice from others. Now that you've thought out what you want to say, ask a friend or relative for advice. Before talking to your girlfriend about sex, you want to make sure that what you have prepared to say is appropriate, heartfelt, and honest. Talk to someone who you trust will give you the advice you need.
  4. Talk about safe sex. When talking to your girlfriend about sex, it is important to bring up contraception and other safe sex practices. It is important for both of you to be honest about past sexual experiences and potential STD infections. It is also a responsibility to discuss birth control for both of your futures.
  5. Talk about rejection. A point of contention between couples is often due to rejection of sex by one partner. When talking to your girlfriend about sex, you might find that your partner rejects your offer. It is best to devise a rain-check system, where both partners agree on a better time to have sex. This honesty will help preserve your relationship and your sex life.

Talking about sex with your girlfriend can help both of you take the next step in your relationship. The most important thing about this discussion is honesty and empathy, and a little humor might help as well. The situation might seem embarrassing at first, but once it's over, you can move forward knowing that both of you are ready.

Posted on: Nov. 03, 2012