How To Tell Your Wife Is Having An Affair

There are many warning signs that make it easy to tell if your wife is having an affair. It is important to realize however, that the presence of warning signs alone does not prove that a wife is cheating. Automatic assumptions should not be made and could be more damaging to the relationship.

1. Physical Warning Signs There are many obvious, and not so obvious, physical signs that can mean your wife is having an affair. These physical warning signs should raise a red flag that your wife may be cheating.

  • Your wife suddenly begins using birth control methods when the possibility of pregnancy is non-existent (you’ve had a vasectomy for example).
  • A sudden increase in clothing purchases, including lingerie and underclothes; or a dramatic change in clothing style or appearance.
  • A constant change of clothes and other personal care items kept in the trunk of the car.
  • A long series of phone bill, credit card and ATM withdrawal increases.
  • Passenger car seat is regularly moved from its original position without a logical reason for it having been moved.
  • You find phone numbers, notes, and men’s items (other than your own) around the house, in the car, left in coat pockets or hidden elsewhere.

2. Emotional and Behavioral Warning Signs Aside from the physical signs of cheating, there are many emotional and behavioral signs that may help you tell if your wife is having an affair. While these warning signs should be a cause for concern, it is also important to consider there may be other reasons for the changes and behaviors.

  • She dresses up more than usual to do routine grocery shopping, have her nails or hair done or to do routine errands.
  • Secretive and private phone calls or cell phone use coming in or going out. She refuses to tell you who was on the phone. A large number of ‘wrong number’ or hang up calls occur when you answer the phone.
  • She becomes distant, reluctant to show affection, she rarely wants to have sex or be intimate.
  • She makes excuses to leave suddenly or work late and immediately showers or changes clothing when returning. Short trips to the store or bank take much longer than usual.
  • There is an increase in arguments, resulting in her leaving to "cool off."
  • She becomes overly forgetful, lacking energy, is always tired and shows an increased lack of interest in the relationship overall.
  • She criticizes your affections or thoughtfulness when she didn’t before.
  • She suddenly begins flirting and eyeing other men in public when this is not something she would normally do.

3. Before Accusing Your Wife of Cheating

It is important to note that the above signs alone should not be used to make assumptions and accusations of cheating. The warning signs are just that – signs that cheating may be occurring. The presence of one or two signs does not mean she is cheating, as there may be other underlying circumstances.

Communication is essential in any marriage. When there are numerous signs and suspicions present, it may become necessary to confront your wife. Regardless of the approach taken, the confrontation should occur in a calm and rational manner without accusations and hurtful comments.

Confrontation and communication should never turn to violence and should not occur in the presence of children or in public.

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