How To Turn Down A Date Politely

Do you want to know how to turn down a date politely? Dating can be full of all kinds of surprises. One of those not so fun surprises is an unwanted invitation from a woman you are not interested in. When a woman’s dating interest is not returned,  a man should be prepared by knowing how to turn down a date politely.

  1. Worst case scenario. The woman trying to get a date from you is a co-worker. This is someone you will have to face on a daily basis. Its never is a good idea to date a co-worker because it invites complications, gossip, and risk taking, that can have unfortunate consequences. The best way to turn down an unwanted date from a co-worker is to say you are flattered by the invitation but you are unavailable for dating. It is not necessary to explain why you are unavailable; the assumption will be you are involved with someone. If the office gossip lists you as a hot single guy, explain it away as a misunderstanding because you keep business and personal matters private and separate.
  2. Consider the woman’s feelings. Even if you are not at all attracted to the woman, remember she has feelings like any human being. Women are socialized to let the man make the first move. For all you know, it could have taken her weeks to get up the courage to ask for a date. Do not give an answer that will lead her to think you are turning down a date because she is not attractive or interesting. All she needs to know is you are unavailable.
  3. What not to say. Never begin your answer with “I would like to go out with you but…” That will invite conversation, drama, and possibly hurt feelings. The very statement is misleading. The reality is you would not like to go on a date with her, so why mislead her. The best answer that is “no harm, no foul” remains “I am unavailable”.
  4. Be kind. When you have decided you are not interested in a woman and you turn down a date with her, be very careful not to leave the door open to encourage another unwanted invitation. Do not send mixed signals through body language that might be construed as interest in him. For example, no touching of any kind, even a sympathetic hand on her arm might be seen as interest. Be firm about your decision and stick to it and don’t discuss the incident with co-workers.
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