How to Turn a Hookup Into a Relationship
Are you wondering how to turn a hookup in a relationship? Our generation has somehow transcended relationships in favor of hookups, but, ultimately, everyone still wants a long-term relationship. Here's a little guide to decide whether it's time to transform that liberal, sketchy situation into a relationship situation. Before you act on any of these ideas, make sure that you and your partner have been hooking up steadily for at least a month. Make sure that you have hooked up sober and had some actual, real conversations. Then, you'll know that you're ready to turn a hookup into a relationship and you can consider the following tactics:
- How does your partner feel about relationships? Ask impersonal questions about relationships before pressing the topic directly: When do you think you're going to, like, start dating? State your own feelings about it: I don't know, hookups are just, like, so weird sometimes- no one ever knows what's going on. Make sure your partner doesn't say anything like: I don't really want a relationship right now, I'm not ready for anything serious, I really just want to be single at the moment. These are deal breakers. If you want to turn a hookup into a relationship, a person who says these kinds of things is not your type.
- Show that you don't want to hook up with anyone else. This will show the commitment required in real relationships. Be a little subtle by saying things like: I don't know, I just don't think I would hook up with anyone else right now, I just don't feel like doing something with another person. See how your partner reacts. Listen to what they say back to you. Does the partner agree or do they say something evasive (like Cool)?
- Slowly start with PDA. To really turn a hookup into a relationship, you need to start taking the hookup out of the private sphere and into the public. Hand-holding, playful touching, hugging, putting your arm around your partner are all great beginning gestures of affection, especially to see how your partner reacts. If the affection is returned, you're golden. If he or she seem uncomfortable, it might mean that you want to find someone else for a relationship.
- Categorize. To drive the point home, start with the first three steps here. If the signs look good, then ask something casually, like: So, what are we? Do you want to go exclusive or what? You don't want to scare your partner with something that sounds over-committed. Since hookups start so casually, you usually turn a hookup into a relationship by first turning the hookup into an exclusive hookup. Since there's no difference between an exclusive hookup and a relationship other than romance, you can get to this point and let the rest evolve.
- Take the Dive. The easiest way to go through all of this is to simply be straightforward and ask: So, listen, I'm kind of tired of this weird hookup thing.... do you want to just, like, officially go out?
Whatever path you choose, be casual about it. Hookups are supposed to be casual. You don't want to risk getting hurt by if you want to turn the hookup into a relationship and you don't know your partner's objective. The key is that hookups generally evolve into relationships. Just use the ideas above to better judge your partner's feelings and ideas about turning the hookup into a relationship.