How To Unclog A Toilet Without A Plunger

Knowing how to unclog a toilet without a plunger could save your social life someday. These things tend to happen at the most awkward of times and telling some chick she is not allowed to use or even go inside your bathroom makes you look weird. Some people try all sorts of stuff like jamming wire hangers or utensils down the toilet but this is a waste of time unless you poop hair. In fact don't stick your hand in the toilet at all. You should have learned that golden rule a long time ago. There are really only two options if you are lacking a plunger. To unclog a toilet without a plunger, you will need:

  • A plumber
  • Pots
  • Boiling water
  • Dish soap
  1. The professional. Without a plunger, your only 100% solution is to call a plumber. This is by far the easiest option if you are trying to unclog a toilet without a plunger. Unfortunately those guys are expensive, lazy and often running late. In fact, you can probably unclog your toilet in the time it takes the guy to drive over and laugh at you for being so lame.
  2. Boil. Gravity makes your toilet work and we will utilize this principal combined with hot water and soap to break down your nasty fecal clog. Fill two big pots with water and boil them.
  3. Squirt. Dish soap is not really a lubricant as most people who have used this trick before believe. You know how hot water and dish soap can break down greasy pans that you used to fry bacon? This is the same idea but rather than bacon we are talking about your poo. Squirt two or three shots of dish soap in your obstructed toilet.
  4. Low and slow. Now it is time to pour the hot water in the toilet. Do this slowly and allow the toilet to drain before continuing because you do not want to clean a floor fouled with dish soap and human poo. After you empty both pots of water you should allow the dish soap to marinate your foul offering for ten minutes. Now flush it. Hopefully you unclogged the toilet without a plunger but if not, do the whole thing again. Depending upon your diet, this trick will eventually work.
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