How To Wear A Vest
Knowing how to wear a vest does not by any means necessitate high intelligence, advanced problem solving skills, or even large amounts of money. Come on, people – a vest is a low-tech article of clothing, and it’s alarming to speculate why anyone would even need a tutorial explaining the intricacies of a bloody vest. Oh, wait. You mean how to wear one in a fashionably tasteful manner? Thank the gods. Yeah, we can talk about how to do that.
Before we look at how to wear a vest, know that there’s more than one type of vest available to both genders. Knowing what style of vest to blend with which outfits is a helpful speck of fashion savvy, and how to mix and match an outfit will be detailed in the instructions below. It’s incredibly easy to not only look like a dork in a vest, but also to not wear one tastefully, so be sure you know how to properly construct an ensemble before leaving the house.
- Getting it on. That sounded kind of dirty, didn’t it? It’s not, really…just to clear up any confusion, here’s how to apply a vest to one’s body. Put your arms through the openings in the side, and be sure the open side lined with buttons is in front. Take your time; this part is very frustrating.
- Leather. Leather anything that isn’t a belt is usually seen as casual (or kinky). There are leather vests available, and often times, they are worn over t-shirts. Try wearing a black leather vest over a white shirt and with jeans. This is a playful, relaxed, and fashionable style.
- Dress vest. Dressy suit vests are probably the most versatile since you can wear them for work or for play. It will look just as good at that important business meeting with your work slacks and leather shoes as it will at the bar with Johnny and Manny, grabbing a few beers and the behinds of inebriated young women and men dressed like women. Wear one with a long-sleeved dress shirt of any color…either with a tie or without and leave the top button undone. But try not to wear one with a white shirt because you’ll look like a waiter.
- Under the coat. Another great way to sport a vest is along with a jacket suit, such as a business suit or a tuxedo. This works well if the vest is not the same color as either the shirt or the suit itself. For example, if you want to go to a fancy black tie social event, wear a classic black tuxedo with a white shirt, and then wear a red vest with black pinstripes. Or, if you’re stuck being the best man at your gun enthusiast cousin’s wedding to keep his bride from telling everyone you slept with her, wear a vest that’s the same color as your tie.
- Standing alone. Really, the only place that’d be good to wear a vest by itself would be somewhere like a dance club. Stick some nails pointy-side out into a second-hand pleather vest and see if anyone wants to hug you.
- No old man vests. These look okay if you’re old enough for a senior discount, but if you’re a younger guy, stay away from the goofy sweater vests because they’ll make you look like a dork. If you want to wear a vest, fine…but don’t pick these ones. Not even if it’s cold outside; wear a coat if that’s the case.
- Goin’ down. You know what down vests are: those really poofy ones that look like a cross between a life jacket and skiing clothes. These types of vests are a little funky, but they also are just pieces of casual clothing and would look good with just about any long-sleeved shirt (the exception being a sweater). For a handsome, fun look, try wearing a black down vest with a black turtleneck shirt and some dark blue jeans. Also, bear in mind that only the black down vests look at all bearable; any other color will make you look like the special kid who lost his swimmies on the way to the pool.