How To Win Back The One You Love

By: Annette Smith

Break Studios Contributing Writer

If you think your breakup was a mistake, you may wonder how to win back the one you love. Men hurting from a breakup usually do the opposite of what is necessary to reconcile the relationship. If you reach out to your ex in a weak and passive or overly-aggressive way, winning her back probably will not work. With this in mind, consider the following tips when seeking reconciliation.

  1. Be nice to your ex, but don’t be a doormat. Not all nice guys finish last, so don’t believe the cliché. But don’t ruin your chance to win back your love by being overly nice, either. Girls don’t want a human doormat they can walk all over. Be yourself, even if that means you and your ex disagree about some things. Remember, a little friction creates a spark.
  2. Talk to your ex, but don’t try to win her back with logic. Romantic relationships are all about feelings and emotions, not logic and reason. You may be able to argue your way out of a relationship, but you can’t argue your way back in. Talk to your ex, and let her have her say. But don’t try to win back the one you love through logic.
  3. Surprise your ex with a memento of your relationship, but don’t shower her with gifts. Everyone knows you can’t buy love, so don’t pad the package that is you with flowers, candy, and fancy gifts. A memento of your relationship or a keepsake from a memorable date tells her you never stopped thinking about her. A touching gesture goes a lot further than excessive, expensive presents to win back her love.
  4. Tell your ex that you love her, but don’t say it every ten minutes. Smothering your ex with affection is unlikely to win her back. In fact, if you came on too strong during your relationship, it may be the thing that pushed her away. Repeatedly saying you love her will not make her finally “get it” and fall into your arms.
  5. Work on the right things to build chemistry with your ex. Men and women are attracted to different things, so keep this in mind as you attempt to build chemistry with your ex. Girls are more attracted to personality than appearance. Don’t neglect your appearance, but work on personality, body language, and other things that turn her on.
  6. Broach the topic of reconciliation, but don’t misread her signs and cues. Depending on the reason for your breakup, there may be a window of opportunity when your ex is willing to give you another chance. Knowing when the window is open or closed is crucial to winning back the one you love. Learn to read her signs and cues, but don’t read more into them than they reveal.
Posted on: Nov. 24, 2010