John Mayer Quotes

To say singer John Mayer is outspoken is a bit of an understatement and dozens of John Mayer quotes prove just that.  When he's not winning Grammy Awards for his blues-rock ballads, he's running his mouth about himself, touching himself, women he's touched and, again, himself.  Self esteem and a comfortability with his sexually are definitely not problems for the singer as apparent in these John Mayer quotes.

  1. "My six word story 'my heart didn't come with instructions.'"  Though he's since deleted them all, a whole slew of John Mayer quotes came directly from the singer to the public on his Twitter stream.  This goodie, which is a sarcastic poke at his womanizer reputation, was perhaps the least offensive comment he's made about women, as shown in other John Mayer quotes.
  2. "Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say…  It was like napalm, sexual napalm."  In addition to describing her as "crack cocaine," this lovely John Mayer quote came when the playboy was describing his intimate times with fellow singer Jessica Simpson.  Though not at a press conference to announce the end of the relationship, like Mayer did after dating Jennifer Aniston, this John Mayer quote still made equally as big headlines.
  3. "I am the new generation of masturbator, I've seen it all. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week…"  In case it was not apparent before, John Mayer likes to talk about sex.  Apparently when he's not having it with a selection of women, he's doing it on his own, at least that's what he'd like us to believe in this John Mayer quote.  
  4. "When I watch porn, if it's not hot enough, I'll make up backstories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography."   As if it was not enough to explain how often he masturbates, this John Mayer quote goes on to describe how he feels while watching pornography.  One can only wonder how many companies came calling asking the singer to join their porn-writing business after this lovely quote hit the presses.
  5. "It’s difficult for me to explain my life to someone without sounding like I’m complaining, which I’m not. I have no problem saying I’m in a bit of a strange time in my life."  Of all the John Mayer quotes, this one is perhaps the most coherent and most accurate.  This lovely line came in March 2010 when he sat down for an interview with "Playboy" and was easily the most rational thought he provided.  Yes, he later went on to discuss himself, women and a variety of other nonsensical topics.
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