Rib Tattoos For Guys

Rib tattoos for guys must contain a certain level of machismo in order to be pulled off correctly. When you whip off your shirt and casually strut around the park, you do not want to hear people snickering at you. Bad rib tattoos will not just ruin your whole day, they could ruin your life if you can't afford laser removal. So think hard and leave the Disney characters alone, though a Goofy might convey a level of subtlety so freakin' deep it will blow people's minds.  

  1. Confused. The most common rib tattoos for guys are ones that tell the world what city you live in or what your name is. Which city is important though. For example, the Palm Springs gangster rib tattoos could be viewed as silly. But your name tattooed on your ribs can actually pay off in the long run. Similar to when your mother wrote your name in your underwear, you can easily be identified should you pass out in public places.
  2. Birds. Birds are not good rib tattoos for guys, especially sparrows or parakeets. Leave the bird tattoos for the ladies. But, screaming eagles grasping arrows or severed heads are awesome.
  3. Animals. Animals are tricky concepts as rib tattoos for guys. Not only must you choose the correct animal, it must be the correct shape to fit on your side. Lions are cool but look silly squished over your ribs. Snakes are perfectly shaped for rib tattoos and inspire fear, but they are also phallic symbols. Are you man enough to have people thinking of penises whenever your python is out?
  4. Bones. Among the obvious rib tattoos for guys are bones. If you are in shape now, they will look awesome when you whip off your shirt. But after 35, your inked rib bones will look more like a pack of intestinal worms that have burst free from your bowels. While the torn flesh ghoul (or robot) rib tattoo is a great concept, it is completely overdone. Who cares if you liked the Misfits in high school or watched "Terminator" too many times? Go original. Why not a chicken wishbone? It would make a lovely conversation piece and leave you great openings for cheesy pickup lines.
  5. Elements or weather. You have to tread carefully here. Flames are played out as rib tattoos for guys because the woman have stolen our fire. Water tattoos never look right and rocks do make a statement but end up looking like turds. Suns are for ladies, rain looks like ants and wind doesn't really translate well.  But lightening is cool and perfectly shaped to arc down your side. The only downsize is you might be mistaken for a member of the white supremacy faction. This could be awkward for the Asian guys.   
  6. Religion. Praising the Lord rib tattoos can scare off the ladies so guys beware. Not every chick is into a religious nutter. The way to get around this is to tattoo someone else's religion on your ribs. Pick some cool Sanskrit text or something in Arabic. It could be Amman's grocery list for all you know but you can always make up some deep, moving stuff to impress people.
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