Sex Tape Scandals 2009

Ever wonder who had sex tape scandals in 2009? We had a gossip girl that doesn't gossip, Miss California and Miss Universe beauty pageant winners, an ex-Playboy playmate turned baked potato, a contestant on a "reality" show with Flavor Flav, a model that should have done a sex tape ten years ago, and the ugly guy from "Grey's Anatomy." In 1999, we had Pamela and Tommy Lee's masterpiece. A decade passes by and we get a flea market rip-off…Shauna Sands and whatshisname. 

These are the only sex tape scandals 2009 worth mentioning:

  1. Miss Universe Trinidad Anya Ayoung-Chee. Apparently she and another unnamed female did the sexual hokey pokey with some lucky guy back in 2007, but it did not hit the Internet until 2009.
  2. Miss California Carrie Prejean. Carrie Prejean’s ex-boyfriend wanted to seek revenge and he decided to “leak” the sex tape online. There is just one problem, it was not Carrie Prejean. Carrie Prejean is as dumb as a box of crayons, but she is smart enough to not have someone else tape her scratching herself like she is a DJ (mixing the hits of the 80’s, 90’s and today!). The sex tape was supposedly taped from a cell phone, but this sex tape was in black and white.
  3. Carmen Electra and her girlfriend. If this was 1999, this would have made many grown men feel warm and fuzzy in private parts unknown, but it was too late. This “sex tape” was more like a trailer for a future release, but it never came about because Carmen Electra is one of the biggest teases on planet Earth. This “sex tape scandal” was as softcore as you can get. There was no sex in the champagne room or the hotel they were staying in. Carmen Electra, why did you do this?
  4. Leighton Meester of “Gossip Girl”. One of the worst sex tape scandals ever. We all know “Gossip Girl” is a cheap version of “Sex in the City”. Kristen Davis also had a sex tape scandal of her own, but we only had pictures of the sex tape. The same can be said about Leighton Meester. “Gossip Girl” gets killer ratings on a network no one watches. Leighton’s ex-boyfriend probably leaked the pictures out of revenge (This sounds awfully familiar!). If Leighton’s mother had to identify her daughter in those pictures, her mother would even say it was her. Just like Kristen Davis, no sex tape surfaced and no jack off material for us men. Thanks for nothing!
  5. Shauna Sand. Sand’s sex tape scandals were of her own doing. You know how female celebrities claim that the person in the sex tape is not her, but it really is.  This technique did not work for Shauna Sands. Shauna Sands made a deal with Vivid Video to release the sex tape. Unfortunately, this sex tape was pretty good. Shauna used to look good twenty years ago before she overdosed on collagen and made herself a human Oompa-Loompa. Someone must have left the oven on a little too long that day in the tanning salon.
  6. Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander. Hoopz was the winner of “Flavor of Love”, a VH1 reality show starring Public Enemy rapper Flavor Flav (Flavor Flavvvv!). Wow! The same company that released Amy Fisher’s sex tape in 2007 decided not to release Hoopz' sex tape.
  7. Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. This is another one of those sex tape scandals that involved no sex. If you call laying in the bed talking about nothing and laying in a Jacuzzi topless, sex, then okay.

It is quite funny that these sex tapes scandals of 2009 involved virtually no sex at all. It is really ironic.

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