You don't have to respond to the cold eyes of a terse-dispositioned tough guy demanding the Starbucks secret menu password from a peek-slat at their back entrance. Some of the cats that run with the plastic pocket-protectorate would be hyped to enjoy a little RPG thug glory for the cost of a venti latte. We would be hyped, but it's not that kind of menu. The Starbucks secret menu is merely hidden. If you know its contents and want to select from among them, you're in. There's an ample amount of decadence on it to fit the dictates of your mood.
- Pinky Up If you're feeling especially stank, Starbucks can make a French Press for any coffee on the menu. If you're really just going for the Parisian feel, order a Misto without foam.
- Faux Energy Compensate for the night before. The barista knows the formula for the Red Eye (an espresso shot in regular drip coffee) and the Black eye (a near-lethal two shots espresso in drip coffee). If you have to scrounge up change to fund your visit, consider the Cheapo (a double-shot of espresso on ice with packs of brown sugar from the self-serve area).
- Brewed Leaves Starbucks has the brewed-leaf aficionados covered as well with selections of: Pomegranate Vanilla Oolong Latte, Cinnamon Rooibos Latte, Poorman's Chai Latte (two tea bags in a Chai Misto with extra foam and half-cinnamon, half-vanilla syrup), Blackberry Green tea, and the London Fog (Earl Grey with vanilla syrup). Some locations have chess tables and updated chalk art on the specials board, likely for the more somber consumers of herbal infusions.
- Dessert-type offerings Celebrate or console yourself. These items are dual-purpose: Cake batter frappuccino (a vanilla frappuccino with vanilla bean and almond syrup), Crunchberry frappuccino (a strawberry and cream frappuccino with hazelnut), and Strawberry lemonade (strawberry syrup in your lemonade). Be a kid for the day. Be ridiculous. Blame it on the sugar.
- Open Canvas Step outside your comfort zone. Experiment. Play. Test flavor theories. Starbucks will make anything you can conceive of with the stores in their cupboards. They'll also let you deviate from the three publicized sizes for a “short” cup of any beverage they have that you like.
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