If you think you’re being a renegade by getting a bar through your cartilage, you ought to take a gander at some indisputably weird piercings. Here’s a tidbit of piercing logic: If there’s flesh, it can be pierced. Period. And boy, do people ever find odd and painful places to punch needles and jewelry into. We’ll take a look at some body modifications that will make even the most pierced individual flinch.
- Corset piercing. This one is astoundingly popular considering it is almost never a permanent modification. What these weird piercings consist of is two long rows of rings poked into the body—usually down your back—and ribbon laced tightly through them like the strings on a corset.
- Knuckles. No, not the red echidna from Sonic the Hedgehog. People will, for some reason, get piercings in the spaces between their knuckles. One of the most frequently seen versions of knuckle perforations is with the use of long metal claws. Sound familiar? Like another well-known comicbook character, perhaps? Yeah, these people do this to emulate Wolverine because they can’t just wear yellow spandex like a normal nerd.
- Princess Albertina. Bet you know where this one’s going, don’t you? While some ladies with a lust for sharp, pokey things in their lady bits might be slaked with getting their clitoral hood pierced or their bat wings gouged, there are very special piercings that go beyond external jewelry. The Princess Albertina goes in through the urethra and out through the vagina. As you can imagine, the infection and rejection rates for this method are both pretty high.
- Head implants. These things are sometimes piercings and sometimes not, but it’s exactly what it sounds like: You get something implanted into your skin. If you’ve ever seen someone walking around with bolts or spikes sticking out of their head, they’ve got some implanted jewelry.
- Eyelid. When getting your eyebrow stabbed isn’t fun enough, you can ante up by getting your eyelid pierced. This means that you will have a piece of metal rubbing against your eyeball and we haven’t the faintest idea how you’re supposed to blink with one of these in.
- Superior Fraenum. Run your tongue over your upper teeth. Feel that thin little web of flesh attached to your gums? That’s the superior fraenum and you can put piercings in it. Why anyone would want jewelry there is a mystery, but to each their own.
- Madonna. This is an upper lip piercing…not too strange, honestly. But it’s done in such a way as to resemble a beauty mark—maybe not something most men are interested in having. Besides, beauty marks tend to be dark in color, whereas a chunk of metal or a gem in your face will look like a great big zit from a distance. This one doesn’t seem so much weird as it does ridiculous.
- Uvula. Doesn’t "uvula" sound like something naughty? For those who are laymen, the uvula is that little thing in the back of your throat that looks like a punching bag. Usually if you poke it, you start dry heaving because it also triggers your gag reflex. It seems that it’s also an ideal body part to stick sharp objects through.
- Ankle. Perhaps the only upside to one of these is being able to go barefoot at work for health reasons. Just how are you supposed to wear shoes with one of these weird piercings anyway?
- Third eye. In short, a piercing in the middle of your forehead. Also, body modification sources indicate that these weird piercings are “prone to migration.” Somehow, it’s not very settling to know that facial wounds filled with jewelry will be moving around like a bird on vacation.