What Not To Say On A Date

If you’ve ruined too many romantic encounters by saying the wrong thing, this guide will teach you what not to say on a date. Consider us your Bizarro Cyrano de Bergerac instructing you on all the things that shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth. Avoid saying these things and you might avoid getting kicked to the curb.

  1. “I really miss my ex-girlfriend.” Rule number one about what not to say on a date, especially early on: Do not talk about your ex. At best it will make you seem kind of pathetic. At worst it will make you look like you’re still hung up on her. Either way, it’s a turn off. Forget your old flame. It’s time to move on to someone who just might be a better match for you.
  2. “If I told you you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” We’ve singled out this lame pick-up line, but really, this rule applies to all lame pick-up lines. If you’re on a date, it means you’ve already picked her up. Don’t ruin the experience by acting like a character from an 80s sitcom. Be smooth.
  3. “Want to go back to my parents’ place and hang out?” No, she doesn’t. If you’re still living with one or both of your parents, don’t bring your date home to them. No romance will happen there. Spend a night out on the town and if she wants to take it to the next step perhaps she’ll invite you back to her place. If she’s also living with her parents, though, you’re pretty much screwed.
  4. “Who do you think was the better starship captain: Kirk or Picard?” Unless you met your date at a comic book store or Sci-Fi convention, leave your nerd talk at home. Don’t try to impress her with your dissertation on how Han shot first and Lucas shouldn’t have messed with it in the special edition (even though you’re totally right). Instead, ask her about her interests. Then sit back and listen to what she has to say. If she’s the first one to bring up the topic of how much "Episode I" sucked, then feel free to join in enthusiastically.
  5. “Yeah, baby!” Don’t do it. Don’t do that Austin Powers impression. And while you’re at it, steer clear of Napoleon Dynamite, too. This isn’t amateur night at the Laff Hut; you’re on a date, so leave that tired shtick at home. If you’re a clever guy, by all means be clever. But if your idea of funny is mimicking Bill Murray’s character from Caddy Shack, keep it to yourself.

 

 

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