Where To Meet Thin Girls

In the United States of America, a shallow man might wonder where to meet thin girls. Skinny girls are the media ideal. They sell us clothes, we buy their music, listen to them whine and happily purchase all the material goods they endorse. But where do you find a real live thin girl? 

  1. The mall. Thin girls need thin clothes to display their thin bodies. Skinny jeans are a popular way to do this. To meet thin girls, find a store that sells skinny jeans in skinny sizes (oddly enough they have skinny jeans for fat people) and stake it out. You should leave the camouflage gear and binoculars in your unmarked van though and go civilian casual. Sit on a bench and be cool. When she leaves the store, stare at your phone, stand up and crash into her. Be gentle, for she is thin. Then go, “Oops!  Sorry I was running late for the gym. Hey I feel awful about this. Can I buy you some food? You look hungry”.
  2. The club. To find thin girls, you must go where they gather. An easy place to meet crazy thin girls is at clubs where people stare into lasers and dance beneath a barrage of electronic music. Drugs are bad but they do keep people skinny. Sometimes zombie skinny. You might not want to actually touch any of these people but it’s a great place to meet thin girls. Just be warned that when you remove them from their natural environment you are stuck with a twitchy, photosensitive stick that asks and answers her own questions all while never shutting the hell up.
  3. The predator. One cruel form of revenge a girlfriend may utilize is she will get in shape right before she breaks up with her boyfriend. This is not only a self confidence boost; it is also an effective means of psychological torment. This will fill the ex-boyfriend’s head with disturbing visuals as he pictures her new, skinny body circulating amongst his lusty peer group. If you are okay with taboo revenge sex while screwing over your friend, you can totally cash in on this unfortunate situation. 
  4. The foreigner. The best place to meet thin girls in not in America. Something about the water here or the bacon in the cheeseburger pizzas makes us a bulkier population than pretty much the whole world. In most of Asia and especially Russia, they love their thin girls and seem to have more hanging around than say Idaho. In fact, they have such a surplus of thin girls that they will actually mail one to you if you pay the postage fees and are willing to get married.   


  • Most thin girls can’t cook a steak.  You will have to learn to cook to survive.
  • In a cold, harsh climate, you may not want a thin girl. They are bad breeders due to narrow hip development plus they make poor bed warmers. In the great North, it might make more sense to snuggle up against a Rubenesque woman who can chop firewood and gut a fish.
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