White Trash Party

A white trash party can be a fun and entertaining festival to attend. However, in order to host a white trash party, there are a few important factors that must e considered. Below are some suggestions on how to throw a white trash party.

  1. Be sure there is a broken down car on the front lawn. Nothing says "white trash" more than having a broken down car parked on the front lawn. If at some point a couple were to have sex in the car, it would only add to the trashiness. If the couple were two females, then… well, let's save that for another list.
  2. Have a minimum of five mullets. Mullets have been the standard in white trash for decades. Having several of your guest don the white trash hairdo will add the much coveted "trash" to your "white."
  3. Wear a tight pink halter top without a bra. For some reason, white trash women love wearing pink halter tops. However, the real trashy gals enjoy wearing them without bras. In some instances, this can be a good thing; however, most of the time that is not the case. For an added bonus, have a half-smoked cigarette hanging from your mouth with a quarter inch of ash dangling from the end. If you really feel trashy, add a pair of way-too-short-and-tight daisy dukes.
  4. Serve cheap beer. A white trash party is not complete without cases of Old Milwaukee's Best and Pabst Blue Ribbon. For the children, serve either pink or red juice. 
  5. Wear a way-too-small bikini. Many white trash parties involve water, which is a magnet for flabby, white trash women who unwisely cram themselves into the same bikini they wore before shooting out six kids. To emphasize the trashiness, women should keep their bikini areas grossly ungroomed.
  6. Have plenty of Elvis photos hanging on the wall. Elvis may have been the most popular musician of all-time, but hanging multiple photos of "The King" throughout the trailer significantly magnifies the party's trashiness. 
  7. Have a broken television act as a stand for the one that works. Watching NASCAR or "Trailer Park Boys" on the good television that sits atop of the broken television is a good way to start a white trash party and a better way to end a white trash party list.

 

 

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