If you are questioning whether you may have an issue on your hands with your girlfriend's possessive behavior, then take a look at our "10 signs your girlfriend is controlling" breakdown below. Run "Forest Gump" style if she holds more than one of these attributes at any given time on a continual basis:
- Excessive calls. It's a definite red flag if she calls you more than once a day, just to check on you or your whereabouts. Asking questions repeatedly about what you are doing at work and whom you are talking to at any given time are unnecessary. If she fully trusts you, she should not be asking these questions all the time.
- Trust issues. She is controlling if you tell her you are going out for a boy’s night and her response is, “Really? Just boys?”… Then later you find out she called your best friend to ask him what you are doing to make sure the stories match up.
- Acts like she's your Mom. If you disagree with her and she gets angry because you don't agree with her point of view, then she's controlling. If her way is the only way, it’s going to be a tough road for you. No relationship can be healthy if she is acting like your Mom.
- Contacts your family. She does not need to have more contact with your family than you do. If she has called your parents to set up a dinner, because she feels you haven't seen them in a while, then this is a sure sign that she needs to be reigned in.
- Handing over your paycheck. If you are living with her and she has to be in charge of the finances and that means all your money goes into a joint account, then she is controlling. When entering a healthy relationship, it is considered healthy only if both parties take responsibility and are accountable for their own finances. Contributing to a joint account is different from handing over all your hard earned money without a say of where it is going.
- She is overly jealous. As human beings we all like to enjoy the beauty of others. If your girlfriend goes off at you for looking at another random woman on the street, well then… she is controlling. Listen up people, looking is a part of life. It is unreasonable to think that loving someone means that they can't enjoy looking at other attractive people.
- Answering to her. You should not always find yourself on the defensive. Come on now, it is no way to live, if all you do is justify your actions to someone else. If you have to tell her why you want a shower now, or why you want time out with the boys, then run! Seriously.
- Changing who you are. If she comments regularly or makes “friendly” suggestions on what you should wear, what restaurant you will go to (even though she knows your favorite food is Italian and she makes you go to sushi), then she is controlling. There is no consideration for who you are as a person. When someone loves you for who you are, that means that your wants and likes are as important as theirs.
- Checking up on you. If after a night of not seeing you, she arrives at your door unannounced then dude, watch out. Again this comes down to a trust issue. It's not her right to intrude on your privacy, without asking first.
- She is passive aggressive. The final crunch that symbolizes a controlling woman is… drum roll please… if she is passive aggressive, run for the hills. For example, if you say you want to do something and then there is a gripping silence in the house from her or if you try to converse with her and she either walks away or only responds with “uh-huh” or “mmmmm” and doesn’t make eye contact with you. She is voicing her disapproval with her silence to annoy you. If she can't talk to you like an adult and accurately identify her feelings in a civilized manner, it's time to find another girlfriend that can accept you for you.
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