Women are a dynamic, complex species of human, and reading us is certainly difficult at times.
Like most humans, we think about sex a lot, we talk about sex a lot, we crave sex a lot and, other times, we can’t think of anything we want to do less than do you. Sometimes we’ve even been intimate with you before or things are well on their way, but we simply change our minds. Why? It’s actually not all that complex.
Real women describe the moments they decided they were for sure not going to sleep with a man—in a single sentence.
“I told him I gained seven pounds and he said, ‘Holy shit, that’s a lot.’”—Emily, 21
“As I stripped down, he decided it’d be a good time to introduce me to his million-pound cat, Lincoln, who scratched the fuck out of me, so I left bleeding.”—Michelle, 28
“I went to the bathroom and when I came back, I found him stark naked with just a piece of clothing hanging from his erect penis, so I grabbed my purse and walked out.”—Lynne, 55
“While kissing me like he was playing tonsil hockey, and whispering where else he’d like to put his tongue, I felt my vagina actually dry up like a prune.” —Lauren, 26
“I found out he didn’t have health insurance despite being 30 years old.”—Caitlin, 25
“He said, ‘If I squint, you could pass for 16—I like that.’”—Rosa, 25
“I realized he couldn’t put two sentences together.”—Kathryn, 53
“He took his pants off, totally hard, and immediately tried jackhammering me before even touching my vagina.”—Gianna, 30
“My brain works oppositely, so it’s rare that there’s a moment in my brain that I’m like, I might sleep with him.”—Macy, 25
“When I lied and told him he was ‘so big,’ he told me he thought it was so flattering because the girl he got with the last week said the same thing.”—Rachael, 25
“He asked if he could finger my butt.”—Jessica, 26
“Our conversation was so surface-level and, when I got bored of never getting any deeper, I realized I didn’t want him to go any ‘deeper…’”—Alyssa, 26
“His breath smelled like he’d eaten an entire fish market, vomited it back up and ate it again.”—Olivia, 25
“He passed out so I thought I’d try to hit it in the morning, until he peed the bed.”—Amanda, 25
“He sent me one too many dick pics before I even saw his dick in real life.”—Kendall, 26
“I never shaved so, sorry, not happening, but also his tongue was too large for life it was intimidating, so I didn’t even want to see what his peen looked like.”—Sam, 26
“After a few tequila shots he started telling me how many times he’d been in and out of jail.”—Kerri, 28
“I stalked his social media, naturally, and he made the same face in all these selfies that I just pictured him making that face in bed.”—Sara, 31
“I ordered white and he ordered red, and when he grabbed my white on accident and I asked him to swap, he ‘corrected’ me with, ‘No, Mer-lot (emphasis on the T) is white.”—AnnaMarie, 25