A funny thing happened over the winter. My Trader Monthly subscription ended. I didn’t cancel it through an email or a letter, I simply wrote in WSF that the magazine was a bunch of thugs for attacking one of the trader they had profiled in their mag. They didn’t blast him in the actual magazine but went out of bounds and attacked him all over the internet. Classless and unprofessional. They guy who the pounced on probably deserved it but it didn’t make it right. I must have a larger readership than I though because Poof!, I never received another magazine again.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t smoke cigars, drink scotch, ride in private jets, drive a Ferrari, (Ok I have one but hardly ever drive it), and wear a $100,000 watch, but I do enjoy the trading stories. I only read the stories about the above if my dump is longer than I though and I run out of things to read. Otherwise, I can finish the thing in 10 minutes. So now I have 10 minutes a month open and have come up with some things I can do with my extra 10 minutes.
1. Take screenshots of Erin Burnett and photoshop them onto a naked girl’s body so I can imagine her naked
2. Drive over to Office Max and turn in all my saved ink cartridges for free reams of paper
3. Learn 12 words of Chinese
4. Watch the edited highlights of the game that Jordan scored 69 points
5. Try and call Dish Network and get the $5 fee I pay each month for not having an actual land line removed
6. Go stand in line at the convenience and try to buy a pack of Eclipse gum while the girl at the counter tells her friend in line how she lost 4 dollars at “LeShon’s Parlor” and got all “lit up”.
7. Put that string back in my sweat pants that came out just far enough that I had to pull it all the way out
8. Actually watch that ad that bugs us all at the front page of marketwatch.com
9. Look up my old girlfriend and google map her house to see if she married someone that makes more money than me (he does)
10. Put my entire baseball collection from the 90’s on ebay and figure out what to do with the
$3 I’ll make
I’m not sure which one’s I’ll do. I’ll probably just work my way down the list each month.