Every month, the Chickipedia team compiles an extensive list of the most searched-for babes on the site. These are the Most Wanted Babes in the Chickipedia universe. These are the chicks that you would jump in front of a train for (provided that you would survive the ordeal with only minor injuries, and that they would be obligated to repay you in any way you requested). These are the hotties that make your naughties tingle. In seventy years, when you’re talking to your great-great-grandchildren, these are the chicks that you’ll lie about having dated for a short time, before they became famous. These are the Most Wanted Chickipedia Babes of November:
Everyone’s thinking it, so we’re just going to say it: Megan Fox was created in a laboratory of the distant future by a group of nefarious scientists who spent millions of dollars researching exactly what men want in our current time. Eventually, the scientists created a perfect cyborg woman, complete with a target tattooed on the small of her back (perfect, right?). Then they sent the robot woman back in time to captivate and eventually enslave the entire human race. It’s the only feasible explanation for how she could be so incredibly hot and so perfectly awesome. If you don’t believe us, then take a look at the rejected GQ photo shoot pics (from Megan’s GQ cover spread earlier this year) that recently surfaced online. WARNING: YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S NAME AFTER VIEWING THESE PICTURES.
Not only is Jessica incredibly babelicious, but she also seems like the kind of person that we could approach in the grocery store and interact with. She would giggle when we complimented her melons, and say something like "oh, that’s so funny. I like the way that you sounded like you were making a sexual comment, but really you were just commenting on the honeydew that I picked up in the produce section. We should date for a short time and then get married, despite the fact that I am already happily married and have a child." Either that would happen, or her bodyguards would play badminton with us before we even got close enough to yell "I love you".
Kim is one of those women who can do it all. She’s a celebutante (whatever that is), a model, an actress, a dancer, a clothing and perfume retailer, and the owner of an online shoe store. She probably sneaks into your dreams every night because you’ve seen her on the E! reality series Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which has seen wild success, despite nobody having any idea what it’s about or who the other people on the show are. Kim debuted her acting skills in Disaster Movie earlier this year and is set to appear next year in her second film, Deep In The Valley, which, despite its namesake, is not another sex tape.
Olga is pretty much perfect, as far as foreign babes go. Her career has been skyrocketing over the past few years, starting with her role in Hitman in 2007. She followed up in 2008 with roles in Max Payne and Quantum of Solace, and has pretty much established herself as Hollywood’s go-to Ukranian babe. She’s perfectly comfortable doing nude scenes, and we’re perfectly comfortable with her doing them, so everything works out perfectly. Also, she tends to date Russian hockey players, so if you’re neither Russian nor a hockey player, you’ve got some work to do.
Pamela is like that old girlfriend that we hook up with everytime we get dumped. She’s always around, we know she’s always going to be a babe, and we seem to automatically type her name into any chick site that we find ourselves on just to see what’s there. Pam has managed to work her way back into the limelight lately, thanks to a handful of engagements, marriages, anullments, and divorces, not to mention a new reality series, Pam: Girl On The Loose, which debuted on E! in August of 2008. Last year, Pam married and divorced Rick Salomon, the guy responsible for the Paris Hilton sex tape. We’re not claiming to be psychic, but if you combine a two-time sex tape starlette with a dude who makes sex tapes, odds are you’re gonna get a sex tape out of it. Keep an eye out for an early 2009 release date, probably just in time for Valentine’s day!
As long as Heroes is on the air and creating a fanboy feeding frenzy of controversy and debate, Hayden is going to be in the eye of a vast and powerful hurricane of attention. It’s no surprise that Hayden’s on the Most Wanted list; when dozens of people photograph you buying donuts, you know you’re media gold. Don’t worry about the future demise of Heroes ruining things for Hayden, either. Sure, she’ll have to redefine herself, but she already has loads of television and film experience under her belt, so she won’t have to break down any new doors to find other projects. Plus, there will always be donut shops, and as long as she keeps buying donuts, people will keep photographing her while she does it.
When it comes to British Bombshells, Keeley has no competition. She’s the ultimate; the Omega Babe, as far as Britain is concerned. Keeley got her start as a glamour model, but the real kick to her career came as a result of a leaked sex tape. Since then, Keeley’s been a tabloid queen of merry ol’ England, and luckily she’s not shy about showing off her goods. She signed a deal with Nuts magazine earlier this year and has since graced the cover of the prestigious publication frequently…and she’s only twenty-two years old. Sit back and relax, because Keeley’s not going anywhere soon.
The appearances of Keeley Hazell, Pamela Anderson, Lucy Pinder, and Denise Milani on this month’s Most Wanted list provides some keen insight to what Chickipedia readers are really looking for: cup size. In that regard, Denise does not disappoint. The Czech-born glamour model boasts a dumbfounding triple-D cup, making her a force to be reckoned with, especially if the competition is "who can accidentally knock over the most bottles while navigating her way through a crowded bar".
Since her breakout performance in 1998’s The Horse Whisperer, which is not about a talking horse at all, Scarlett has garnered considerable attention from the majority of the male population of earth. With her classic beauty, stunning figure, and penchant for starring in really good movies (Ghostworld, The Island, The Prestige), Scarlett has become a household name. Last year she released an album consisting mostly of Tom Waits covers, which was met with mixed reviews. Keep an eye out for Scarlett’s upcoming films, The Spirit and the ensemble comedy He’s Just Not That Into You, in which she’s rumored to have a topless scene (finally).
This is Lucy’s debut on Chickipedia’s Most Wanted List. Lucy was discovered by a freelance photographer while sunbathing on a beach in England, and was signed to a modeling deal with the UK magazine The Daily Star. This event simultaneously sparked her modeling career and exponentially increased the odds of your "C’mon, baby, I’m a photographer" pick-up line actually working. Lucy did not initially pose nude, but eventually she decided to lose the top for a spread in Nuts Magazine (seems like you should really start "reading" Nuts). Soon after, she was posing in Loaded Magazine as well, and since then she’s become a staple covergirl of both publications.