When you’re a kid, the idea of having your own bed, your own room, your own everything sounds like a privilege. As you get older, the thought of spending the rest of your life in bed by yourself is unfathomable, and suddenly you begin to question: Will I die alone?

Sleeping in the same bed as your significant other is considered the norm. It’s a sign of a healthy, loving relationship between two people who can stand the smell of each other’s breaths and farts. It’s a comfort unlike any other.

But sleeping in separate beds is for old couples who are no longer doing it and for those going through hard times… Right? Wrong.

Don’t overlook the sleeping part. Sleeping together means both partners actually, you know, sleep. When the cuddling, conversation and sex have subsided, two people—presumably working adults—need to catch consistent and bountiful shut-eye. If they are capable of doing so together, and they want to, then that’s great. But honoring sleep is important, and there are far too many circumstances that can disrupt that—snoring, sleep talking and walking, frequent trips to the bathroom, sleep machines, conflicting schedules and so on.

Losing sleep isn’t just bad for your well-being, it’s also unhealthy for the relationship. So what’s worse? Choosing different bed posts or finding yourself being resentful from constant exhaustion?

According to a survey from the National Sleep Foundation, almost one in four married couples sleep in separate beds. But, despite the statistics, the stigma that separate beds means unhappiness lives on.

Love, happiness and health cannot be defined by what society says. Life is circumstantial. If you’re happy, in love and feeling totally connected to your partner from another mattress, you do you.

Photo: iStock/nensuria