You landed a second date with a woman you recently met. She seems interesting, but you’re apprehensive because your last few dates with other women were major disappointments. Some people believe you can learn all you need to know about someone in the first three dates, but you simply don’t want to waste your time. So before you dedicate any more hours—or dollars—getting to know her, here are a few preliminary background checks you might want to run.
1. Consider her previous relationships. If she’s been in two or fewer long-term committed relationships, chances are that she might be in it for the long haul. On the flipside, if her list of ex-boyfriends is longer than you can count, it might mean that she doesn’t know what she wants. As a result, you might end up being boyfriend number 15 and waste valuable time.
2. Scope out her work history. A woman who is a big player at the office is at the top for a reason—perhaps she goes after what she wants and handles challenges well. Likewise, she’s probably more inclined to do the same in her relationships. If she has changed jobs frequently in the last few years, it might be a sign of instability. Again, that might carry over to her love life.
3. Take a look at how she handles stress. It’s easy to assume that a person you’ve met a few times has their life together because she smells nice and dresses to impress. But dig deeper. Instead of doing all the talking, sit back and listen to what she has to say about herself. Ask her about work, her family and friends. At some point, after you move on from surface-level conversation, she might tell you about a challenge she’s faced—from there, you can be the judge.