I received this response from MOb15 to my picking up pennies article. The “I don’t pick up pennies” article was satire but I would still like to respond because he

You sound like a typical American: far too rich, far too stupid, far too paranoid and far too ignorant. (be careful what you say or I will have George Bush attack you)

Let’s address each accusation in turn:

Far too rich: At $75 an hour, you need to be a bit more humble. Picking up pennies is a big part of that humbleness you need to re-learn. (I‘ll never be ashamed at what I make because I work hard for it. My hobby is making money. Just as the hobby of the French is not working and smoking all day)

Far too Stupid: Yes, you can make more than 2 cents bending down to pick up that penny, but when you stand up straight again you have a a penny you didn’t have before. You are STILL one penny richer than when you bent down. Walking by does NOT make you richer. (you REALLY don’t get the whole point of the article)

Far too Paranoid: Yes money is dirty. But so are your hands, your face and your coffee cup. Your keyboard is positively disgusting. The chances of catching something from a coin are nil to minimal. If you are extra paranoid then wash your hands before picking your nose afterwards. Life is dirty: bugs are everywhere, and you can NOT isolate yourself from them. Just accept the fact, and move on. (the dirty part was satire, I realize how dirty all the $100 bills stacked in my closet are)

Far too Ignorant: You say you aren’t a young guy, but at age 30 you haven’t even reached your natural physical maximum strength, which happens about 35 – so that claim is bullshit unless you’ve abused your body badly at some stage. You say it’s not good for your back to bend down – and there is some truth to that – but fu*k all. (I’m 38 and run 50 miles a week. I’m in peak physical shape. You’re dumber than me if you think a quick stop and bend is not bad for you)

The facts are these: Europeans do not spend nearly enough time crouching, and crouching is what stops your hips from self destructing when you are 60+. Save your back by bending your knees to lower yourself, and do not use your back like a crane. Stand close to the coin, and crouch using your leg muscles while keeping your back straight, thus exercising both leg muscles, hip joints and all without placing any stress on your spine. (Thanks Mom, I know how to pick things up. You do realize this is a penny?)

Yep – typical Amerikan all right: Utterly spurious, untrue and unreasonable arguments used to support your existing hypothesis. And you feel good doing it. (The “k” in American explains much about you)

I’m sure you’ll get over it in about 340 milliseconds. (We don’t use the metric system over here. It’s just seconds)

One last thing, last Friday I bent over and picked up a $10 bill last Friday that was just laying on the ground. Keep your pennies, I’ll take the dollars.

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