Wet , manufacturer of an obviously-named line of intimacy products, recently conducted a survey and found that although 35% of respondents say the bedroom is their favorite place to make love, nearly half of respondents (48%) are just happy to be having sex – no matter the location. In addition, 67% of the respondents typically meet their sexual conquests in bars and clubs with a trailing 14% meeting their partners online. Booooorrrring.
Call this a Sex Bucket List. We’ve been told that when people get older, they start to look back at all the things they didn’t do in life — and oftentimes having sex in pretty cool places is on that list. Spontaneous sex is the best, but you might have to do a little planning to make sure you can bang it out in these cool places. And make it appear spontaneous while in the moment. It’s all about making lifetime memories. And sweet, sweet love in exotic locations.
We’ll start off with the all time classic: sex on the beach. It’s cool when you see it on TV and even cooler in the movies. It’s cool in concept. And for those of us that have experienced it, it’s truly cool. There is even a drink named after it (although only chicks drink those). Sand will be everywhere and you might get hit by a wave or two, but it’ll be a moment to remember. Make sure to choose the proper beach on which to do the deed, though. Tropical islands are great choices. Southern Jersey, not so much. Unless you like shards of glass gouging your lower back.
Just to climb the tallest peak in the world would be a lifetime achievement for almost anyone. But knocking boots while at the peak would be a pretty cool story to tell your friends when hanging at TGI Fridays. It’s pretty much freezing on Everest year round, so the actual act of sex will have to be in one of those mountaineer specialty tents. You know, the kind that’ll keep you from hypothermia so the thermals can come off to get down to business. Of course, you have to convince your girl to climb to the summit with you first…
Cruise ship sex is kinda’ like regular old nice hotel sex. Row boat sex is awkward and will probably end in your tiny boat capsizing. Focus on the ferrari of the sea: the yacht. On the deck, in the sun, out on the water. It’ll be great for you — as it usually is for dudes — but she’ll want to step up her game a little because she’ll feel like a groupie to a yacht-owning rock star. Just remember that yachts are usually close to shore and frequent targets of binoculars and camera zoom lenses. Take caution. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.
On a Plane
The Mile High Club is often talked about when sex in various places comes up, but very few people have actually done it. Sex in a Cessna (one of those two to four person jobs) is like having sex in a chauffeured town car, and most us of will never be able to afford flying on a private jet. So that leaves the wonderful commercial airliners — which is really the one true place to become a Mile-Higher. Unless you are only two out of fifteen people on the flight and it is a red eye flight, you’ll not be able to ‘perform’ in your seats. Yes, that’s right. Head to the lavatory. It’ll be cramped, but you’ll be joining an exclusive club — and be a better man for it.
It’s the city where people love to make love. It’s got romance everywhere you turn and a million hotels that cater to couples itching for some alone time. You will be hearing one of the most beautiful languages on the planet all day long — whether you speak it or not — and you will be thanking yourself for taking the trip after you take in some of the cool bars and restaurants. If creepy catacombs are your bag, they have some of those below the city. Or stay above ground for one of the legendary raves. Basically, everywhere you turn in this amazing city is a good place for sex. Everyone must get intimate in Paris once in their life. So it is written.
The White House
Just ask our former Presidents and all their mistresses about how great this one is. Getting busy in the same mansion as dudes like Herbert Hoover and Calvin Coolidge is something to wear as a badge of honor. Security is pretty tight here — we know, trust us — so you need to plan your sexcapade properly. If you are ever lucky enough to be invited to stay there, great. That’s easy to pull off the action of the night. But if you are only doing the tour of the house, be careful where you tread. There are like, laws and stuff, to worry about. Ducking under some of the velvet ropes and into a side room for a few minutes is your best bet. All the Presidents did it.
Specifically, on an African Safari. It’s a great trip to take and there is some beautiful scenery every day — which the women are really into. You’ll spend the day driving within a few feet of a pride of lions, feeding elephants, and snapping pictures of antelopes. When night rolls around and it’s time to get frisky, you’ll have your tent and the cool African night air to accompany the moment. And you won’t have to sweat a pack of hyenas barging into the tent for a midnight snack. Paid safaris have guys watching the perimeter all night long…so you can enjoy yourself all night long.
While this may appear quite generic, it is something the majority of people never experience in their lifetime. And it can be great for both of you. You won’t be dropping your pants in a public park mid-day (hopefully), but you may find yourself ducking between cars outside a club at midnight. No one is suggesting you go and make a drunken mistake, but you can finish off a fun night with your chick by rockin’ her world with the chance of getting seen at any second by some dude walking to his Toyota. It beats the hell out of closing the bedroom door and keeping the lights off the whole time. Save those moments for the other 364 days of the year.
No, this is not a set up for a Tiger Woods or a hole-in-one joke. It’s a perfect country club(-ish) evening. You and your gal steal a golf cart and head out to the 12th hole — just before the sprinklers kick on — and use the green as your personal playground. We’ve heard golf course sex stories from friends over the years and they all sing the praises of doing it on the green. It’s outdoors, on the grass, in a semi-public place, and flags are flying over you. And the country club aspect classes it up big time. As an added bonus, you won’t feel like smashing your putter after you’re done.