The ‘Price is Right’ liveblog:
I tried to get on an earnings conference call this morning but got shut out. So…I decided to liveblog this morning’s episode of the Price Is Right instead. Just as good, right?
I mean if CNBC can air hours of ‘Deal or No Deal’ reruns, I think we can let this one fly.
11:00 AM – It’s starting! First 2 contestants called down – both hot blonde chicks with big boobs! Yes, now I know there was a reason I did this. If you’re on the West Coast watch this episode when it airs later. I guarantee you’ll enjoy it
11:01– Now a guy with a novelty FBI hat on! I bet he’s gonna be good.
11:02 – Drew Carey is no Bob Barker, I will admit that. The first prize is a huge home gym with a hot Barker Beauty working out on it. She doesn’t need to do that!
$2,995 for that gym? No one was close. ‘Samantha’ gets on though. She’s wearing a t-shirt that says “6’3”, 19, Yes” and I’m guessing that’s her height, age, and reality of her boobs or whether she’ll sleep with us?
She’s playing ½ Off and will guess which price is half off—a gallon smoothie maker or a replica Goodyear blimp phone! Cool? That phone was $40?! No way!
A crystal sphere is one of the guessable prizes? It’s so nondescript and strange. AND THAT was $78. I am calling bullshit on all this right now.
11:06 – Samantha says she can’t decide between two boxes because they are both pink. Flawless logic.
11:07 – Are they even still called Barkers Beauties without Bob hosting anymore? Carey’s Cadets perhaps?
11:09 – After the first commercial break, an Asian guy named Louie wearing a tanktop and backwards baseball cap is told to ‘come on down’.
11:10 – Girl with boobs gets called up after guessing 1500 for the guitar! We are two for two with hot blonde chicks this morning. Sweet!
11:10– Prizes are to Scottsdale and Seattle? Picking between the two of these is not very exciting.
11:15 – Lisa just got called down from ‘The Johnson Family’. She is VERY excited and can barely contain herself. Lisa bids 1200 for a fancy wooden desk and gets outbid by 1 dollar and loses. Ouch!
11:16 – Andrea, a spunky cute college babe wins and sounds very, very high. Oh great, and now she has the chance to win a new car. Someone give her a sobriety test first! A Honda Element with Price is Right license plate, killer. Definitely not worth $23,000.
11:17 – Ooo contestant Andrea just said she drives a crappy Corolla, and Drew predicts they’ll bleep out that brand name. But they didn’t! Wrong again, Drew.
11:19 – Guess the price of a ‘hair clog blaster’? Disgusting. Drew says she has a 3.12% chance of winning with one roll. Not very comforting. And she only gets $2,500. Was it even worth the trouble of going on the show? Yeah, probably, but still disappointing.
11:23 – The First Showcase Showdown! I’m impressed all three chicks on air have been decent looking college age babes. Has that ever happened before? Not that I dislike the old ladies, but hey, come on.
11:24 – Andrea spins to 90, then Melissa gets a 95. See ya, Andrea! Samantha, the tall chick with the ‘real boobs’ is a division one basketball player? Wow. I’m noticing they aren’t saying her school name. And she rolls only 90 cents again. All very high bids, no lame 15 or 20 cent-ers.
11:25 – Another friggin’ commercial? Literally that was only 2 minutes of Price. I timed it.
11:28 – Alexandra, another young college chick with big boobs? They’re kidding me right? How is this not the most popular show on all of TV?
11:29 – OK, Lisa from the Johnson family reunion just got called up. Sorry to say, but the ‘hot chick’ streak has ended. Her prize is a friggin ‘electric vehicle’ that looks just like a golf cart. Lame!
11:30 – The show is halfway over and I feel totally overwhelmed. And Lisa just won that golf cart. She sounds excited but I know she’s faking it. She’s dead inside.
11:30 – Jeez! Another commercial? That was literally 2 minutes and 30 seconds worth of show? Does Drew Carey need to take a water break off camera every few minutes or something?
11:32 – Air Force cadet gets called down. His glasses could not make him look like anymore of a nerd. I’m sorry to admit that to him.
11:33 – After getting made fun of by Drew for always guessing bids ending with the number 5, Ronald , the guy with the FBI hat, wins the bidding game. I’m so glad Drew just called him out on his stupid hat, asking him what he does at the FBI. Ronald responded “Just general investigatin'”. Well played, Ronald. Here’s a tip – if you want to win on The Price Is Right, you need to cheat.
11:34 – It’s crushing my childhood memories that I’m realizing a lot of these ‘games’ are stupid and predictable. They’re nothing more than simple games of chance. I mean there’s the occasional ‘guess the price and win’ game, but most of them are just like rolling dice on the street. Did that bum anyone else out? I guess the magic is dead for me after doing this. There better be some more hot chicks called up soon or I’m out of here.
11:35 – To make things worse, lovable fake FBI dude Ronald just miserably lost a new car. Drew is visibly upset, has nothing funny to say. Most awkward commercial break segue ever.
11:38 – Final called down contestant is a bit of a MILF, but she’s very lackadaisical about ‘coming on down’, so I deplore her now.
11:39 – Drew is really impressed with the ‘his’ and ‘her’ bikes they are bidding on now. You never rode a bike before, Drew. Admit it!
11:40 – Someone guessed the bid right on the nose, a bell rang, and now Drew is pulling $500 out of his pocket. Those bills look severely crumpled. How long did he have that in there?
11:41 – Louie, the very excited Asian dude with the backwards LA Angels hat, wins the bid and now he’s guessing on a pool table and a wine cabinet. He should guess this, right?
11:42 – Louie just lost terribly. Guessing a fancy wine cabinet and pool table combo was only $465? Horrible guess! The pool table alone is probably over $500. Turns out they were both worth $865. Poor form, Louie. At least he’s not as bad as this chick though (classic clip).
11:45 – Of course, another commercial break. All these ads are for the AARP and vitamins. I wonder who their target audience is? Cool, young, business bloggers perhaps?
11:45 – In the 2nd Showcase Showdown Louie gets an 85. Now Ronald is up.
11:46 – Ronald spun an 80 on his first spin, now he’s trying to get less than 15 without going over. And Ronald is gone. Wow, they have a really harsh ‘fail’ foghorn when you leave empty handed. What a bunch of jerks.
11:47 – Lisa spins a 90 on her first go! Good thing she said ‘hi’ to her family, because their entire family reunion is sitting in the crowd. Sorry, Louie, you lose, get off the stage, loser!
11:48 – This is the third Barack Obama ad I’ve seen during this show. Sandwiched between a Diabetes ad and an AARP ad. I bet McCain is a huge Price Fan and is fuming right now. The diabetes one had Wilford Brimley, so that was awesome. Not as awesome as this though.
11:50 – It’s the epic final round between Melissa, the college babe with the big boobs, vs. Lisa the girl there with her whole family reunion. Decisions, decisions.
11:51 – Melissa passed on bidding on the first showcase. Good call. Second one is a new cufflink bracelet, a trip to Brazil, and a speedboat–nice! The ‘models’ (I guess they aren’t Barker beauties anymore) are doing a little gag about ‘how they can talk now’. I wish they would shut up.
11:58 – Melissa wins! All her hot college friends come down on the stage and start bouncing around! They’re climbing all over the speedboat. I think I’m going to have a heartattack! Could we ask for a better ending to a Price Is Right? I think NOT!
11:59 – Drew has carried on Bob’s torch and said “Get your pets spayed and neutered”. How noble. And it’s over. Good times, good times. There are few better ways to start a full day of blogging.
Let us know if you thought this was any good or if we should do it again.