Private Ninja Lessons

If you’re an aspiring assassin in the greater New York area, you’ll do well to look into these private ninja lessons. Eschew the depersonalization of group instruction, opt instead for a mysterious, dark tete-a-tete, with the unnamed instructor referred to on their site only by way of his accolades.

For about $200, you will receive a 90 minute introduction in the “warrior ways.” You’ll receive personalized training in martial arts, the use of weapons, and a brief history of the tradition and philosophy behind the way of the ninja. From Cloud 9 Living:

Movement is refined for grace and naturalness in all action until power results from mere movement, and evasion from a simple adjustment of position. Weaponry, striking, grappling, choking and throwing as well as methods of leaping and rolling are all disciplines that are incorporated into our curriculum.

This training is one of the rare martial arts undiluted by emphasis on sport competition or artificial rules. Our training emphasizes shiken gata – combat survival techniques.

Remember, though, this is serious business. Ninjas don’t joke.
 


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