There’s a lot of confusion among the genders about just who should pay for what. Men ask women on dates and don’t know if these women will be offended when try to pick up the check. Do women want to be taken out, do they want to take men out or are they hoping to split everything down the middle?
When Sugar Daddy sites first launched, openly advertising that you were connecting rich men with women who wanted to date rich men was a bit shocking. Then the economy crashed, Eliot Spitzer got busted with hookers and Rachel Uchitel landed a reported $10 million to keep her trap shut about whatever it is she did with Tiger Woods.
Opinions abound, but most women I know want to be taken out on a first date, maybe even the first few. When we seem to be reaching for our purse, that’s just a test; one you will fail if you agree to go Dutch. But if you’re still paying for everything by, say, the fourth date, we start feeling uncomfortable. That’s when we try to grab the check and really mean it. We want the finances to be, if not equal, then at least equal-ish.
Unless, of course, we’re talking about a woman seeking a sugar daddy. They don’t do fake purse reaches, or any reaches at all. They expect men to pay—and keep paying. And they find plenty of men willing to play along. Especially these days.
Yes, it’s safe to say that Sugar Daddy dating has reached a new high. When Sugar Daddy sites first launched, back in 2002, openly advertising that you were connecting rich men with women who wanted to date rich men was a bit shocking. Wasn’t this, ahem, naked prostitution? Then the economy crashed, Eliot Spitzer got busted with hookers and Rachel Uchitel landed a reported $10 million to keep her trap shut about whatever it is she did with Tiger Woods.
In other words, as a society, we’re a lot less innocent now than we were a mere decade ago about the way powerful men and the women who seek them out operate. And now that online dating is so ubiquitous—with sites designed to introduce people based on their pets, their signs, their religious affiliations and even their facial hair preferences—the notion of hooking Sugar Babies up with their Daddies simply isn’t that shocking anymore.
I wrote about this topic last week after interviewing the owners of the biggest Sugar Daddy dating sites. To hear them tell it, the resulting relationships are happier, healthier and more honest than many traditional ones. But does this jibe with how the Sugar Daddies themselves feel?
The truth is, at least some men wade into things somewhat suspicious of the women they’re dealing with; these are ladies, after all, who openly admit they’re looking for dudes with cash, which makes some guys rather insecure about how much they’ll be appreciated for things that can’t be found in a wallet.
Take Frank, a 46-year-old Manhattan real estate agent who drives a Jaguar convertible in everyday life. “When I go out with these girls, I drive a company car, a ’99 Nissan Sentra with dents all over it,” he confides. “I want to make sure money isn’t all they’re interested in.” Frank also lives in “a giant house on two-and-a-half acres in one of the richest neighborhoods in the U.S.,” but that’s not something he reveals right away. “You have to be real careful,” he explains.