Why, if a couple is totally in love, does sexual desire subside over time? There’s no one answer as to why this happens. After all, no two couples are the same. But a few reasons seem to be fairly universal.

Today, porn, stress, work, children and medication can all get in the way of a healthy sex life. In fact, according to a study by University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, about 14 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have had little or no sex within the last year. So we did some digging and broke down the scientific reasons as to why you (and many other couples) are no longer getting laid—it’s up to you to reverse the trend.

1. Stress
In a time crunch, sex may not be a priority, a study in the Journal of Family Issues reports. When both partners work, finding time to do the deed can be hard. Plus, aging and taking care of children can all affect libido and—spoiler alert—it’s not for the better.

2. Erectile dysfunction
Guys, we know you don’t like to talk about this subject, but it’s time to face the facts. One in four men will have difficulty getting it up, which means you’re likely to experience it at some point in your lifetime. Unfortunately, ED doesn’t discriminate when it comes to age, so you may have to take that little blue pill sooner than you expected.

3. Basic lack of desire
While men’s biggest sexual complaint is ED, nearly one-third of women ages 18 to 59 suffer from a mere lack of interest in sex—and it can’t be fixed simply by taking a pill. For women, their sexual issues are both mental and physical, which can be hard to cure.

4. You’re Distracted
These days, constant connectivity to the internet is killing your relationship. Not only do couples have endless access to potential partners on the side, but scrolling through Instagram instead of spending time in the present doesn’t help your relationship. Psychology Today dubbed this a “new ménage a trois,” and it’s easy to see why. Although you may be in the same room with your partner, if you’re not connecting with one another face-to-face, you’re certainly not getting laid either.

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