Sexy woman in bed


You did it: somehow you managed to convince her to stay the night. But now the daylight is streaming in your window, her makeup is all over your pillow, and your hangover is starting to set in.

If she’s still sleeping, you’ve got bonus time. Straighten up a bit, brush your teeth, and — if she’s really passed out — take a shower. If you don’t know her well, rousing her with some household noise is a lot less awkward than the uncomfortable morning breath kiss, or the creepy back rub.

If she’s already awake in bed, you may be able to go for round two. Don’t kiss her mouth, your breath smells like a robot throwing up tuna fish. Now is the time to kiss her neck and pay attention to her breasts.

Don’t call last night magical. Unless you’ve fallen in love, which I guarantee you haven’t, there was nothing magical about getting drunk and boning. Don’t say thank you — it sounds pathetic to thank someone for sex. And please, whatever you do, don’t tell her to get out of bed because McDonald’s stops serving breakfast at 10:30 — those Egg McMuffins can wait.